I'm a little on the worried side.
We just got the results back from the Heel Screen Test, and Ella tested positive for Hypothyroidism. My husband opened the letter while I was napping, and didn't have a chance to tell me until right after 5:00 pm, when the pediatrician's office closed. So we'll have to call first thing tomorrow morning to schedule and appointment, retest, and figure out our next steps.
If Ella does indeed have Hypothyroidism, then it does sound like it can be treated with medication. But she would be on medication for the rest of her life. I don't want that for her...
I realize that there can be errors in the tests, and that there is also the chance that this is "transient" (meaning that it will correct itself on its own). I'm really hoping and praying for the best, while also preparing myself for the reality of the condition. I'm really worried...but I know that all I can do is trust God and place her in His healing hands. Please pray for Ella, for us, and for the doctors who will be testing and treating her.
Despite our concern, today's blessing was learning that Madison's surgery went well. Janet shares:
"At 11:45am the surgeon came out to tell us the surgery went successful and that Madison is responding well. The anesthesia team is still working on her. We are still waiting for her to transfer from OR to the NICU. And we're so anxious to see her! We'll keep everyone posted and hope that she will have a quick recovery so she can come home in time for the holidays! The doctor just hopes that she will be able to retain nutrition in her intestines. Of course we're anxious to see her poop again. So much to share.."
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Back to Normal
It seems like things are settling back to normalcy again. I'm feeling much better--though not quite 100%. My mom arrived on Monday morning, and has been a tremendous help! I want to help out, but it's also really good to be able to rest and relax and recuperate completely. She'll leave next Wednesday, so I hope to be back to fully functioning by then.
Ella is doing wonderfully. We had another appointment with the pediatrician on Monday, and I was ecstatic to learn that she had regained her birth weight--and then some. I don't know if I mentioned that she was a tiny bit jaundiced at her first appointment, but that has worked itself out at this point as well. They weren't concerned at all about her umbilical cord falling off so soon, and said it looks totally fine. When I told the pediatrician about my ordeal, he was impressed that I was able to keep my milk supply up. He explained that when a mother's body undergoes trauma, that it does what it can to survive, even if it means saying goodbye to the milk. This thought hadn't even crossed my mind--but I'm so grateful that I've been sticking to a routine so as to sufficiently build up my supply.
Yesterday, a family friend from back home came over to take newborn pictures of Ella. This was a shower gift, and she happened to be in the area to visit her parents, so it worked out perfectly. I'm really looking forward to seeing the pictures, and I'll be sure to post some here as well when we get them.
At this point, I'm feeling pretty good--not just physically, but emotionally as well. I admit that I had a bit of a meltdown on Sunday when we came back from the hospital. I knew that I had done everything I could to care for Ella, but I was still worried that it wasn't enough. Everyday is better than the last, and it really feels like my husband and I are....dare I say..."succeeding" as new parents. I know we're not perfect, and we'll make plenty of mistakes along the way. But it feels like we're a good team, and that makes me happy.
Today's blessing is knowing that my very-dear friend's Baby Boy will arrive today! She was induced last night, and I have been glued to my cell phone ever since, waiting for updates. They are expecting him to be a big baby--he was already measuring at approximately 8 lbs, 2 oz a week or two ago! So please pray for a safe delivery for her and the baby.
Ella is doing wonderfully. We had another appointment with the pediatrician on Monday, and I was ecstatic to learn that she had regained her birth weight--and then some. I don't know if I mentioned that she was a tiny bit jaundiced at her first appointment, but that has worked itself out at this point as well. They weren't concerned at all about her umbilical cord falling off so soon, and said it looks totally fine. When I told the pediatrician about my ordeal, he was impressed that I was able to keep my milk supply up. He explained that when a mother's body undergoes trauma, that it does what it can to survive, even if it means saying goodbye to the milk. This thought hadn't even crossed my mind--but I'm so grateful that I've been sticking to a routine so as to sufficiently build up my supply.
Yesterday, a family friend from back home came over to take newborn pictures of Ella. This was a shower gift, and she happened to be in the area to visit her parents, so it worked out perfectly. I'm really looking forward to seeing the pictures, and I'll be sure to post some here as well when we get them.
At this point, I'm feeling pretty good--not just physically, but emotionally as well. I admit that I had a bit of a meltdown on Sunday when we came back from the hospital. I knew that I had done everything I could to care for Ella, but I was still worried that it wasn't enough. Everyday is better than the last, and it really feels like my husband and I are....dare I say..."succeeding" as new parents. I know we're not perfect, and we'll make plenty of mistakes along the way. But it feels like we're a good team, and that makes me happy.
Today's blessing is knowing that my very-dear friend's Baby Boy will arrive today! She was induced last night, and I have been glued to my cell phone ever since, waiting for updates. They are expecting him to be a big baby--he was already measuring at approximately 8 lbs, 2 oz a week or two ago! So please pray for a safe delivery for her and the baby.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Home Again
This homecoming wasn't nearly as exciting as the first time we brought Ella home, but it was just as sweet. Thank you so so so much for all of your prayers. It was quite a scary situation.
So here's the story of why I ended up in the hospital in the first place. On my original discharge papers, it said to call if I had any clotting larger than a ping-pong ball. On Wednesday evening, I passed a sizable clot, but it was smaller than a ping-pong ball, so my mom and I decided it was fine, and everything went back to normal after that. On Friday afternoon, I changed my pad when I went to the restroom like normal, but felt that it was full within about 30 minutes. Since it was Friday at 4:00 pm, I figured perhaps it was best to call the nurse before the start of the weekend, just to be sure. She asked me to just monitor the bleeding and call her back. About an hour later, I passed a much larger clot (perhaps the size of three ping-pong balls), but did not have a temperature or any pain. Again, the nurse asked me to just monitor the bleeding and call her back. She figured that my body had done what it needed to do by passing the clot, and since the bleeding did totally slow down, I agreed with her.
The rest of the early evening was uneventful, until about 10:00 when I nursed Ella on one side. During that 15 minutes or so, I could feel the blood flowing, and sure enough--I soaked a brand new pad in 15 minutes. I called and spoke with the on-call OB doctor, and she encouraged me to come in. Her concern was that there was part of the placenta still in place, and that I would need a D&C. I nursed Ella on the other side while my husband packed up her diaper bag and a bag for us. Again, I could feel the blood just coming and coming.
I was starting to get light-headed, so sat down on a beach towel in the car while my husband loaded Ella and everything in. Before we left, I had him grab me another towel, as I could tell that I was bleeding heavily. Sure enough, by the time we got to the hospital (about 30 minutes away), the blood had soaked through the pad and was pooling in my lap. By the time that they got me into one of the rooms and pulled my pants down, the adhesive from the pad was so saturated that it complete detached from my underwear. I had them just throw the towel, shorts, and underwear away.
The doctors did an ultrasound, assuming to find part of the placenta in the uterus. But aside from a little bit of fluid in my uterus, it was clear. So they did an internal check, which was extremely uncomfortable, and determined that I must have a tear in my vagina. They decided to operate, and prepared me for some of the various scenarios that might play out--anything from a D&C to a hysterectomy. I remember them washing off my bloody hand so that I could sign the consent forms, and being amazed at how ashen and pale my skin looked. I was able to kiss my husband and Ella as they wheeled me into surgery.
I woke up from the surgery in pain, but relieved to hear that although the situation was bad, that it was probably the best-case scenario for which I could hope. They did not have to do a D&C, as they initially feared. Rather, they determined (and I hope I'm getting this right) that I must have sustained a tear in my vagina during delivery, and that the injury has been slowly bleeding and creating a clot. So they lanced the hematoma, drained it, and then created a "Vag Pack"--which means that they stuffed my vagina full of gauze so that it would create pressure on the tear and help it to heal. I was told that the "Vag Pack" was about the size of an apple, and that it would be removed on Sunday morning.
By about 3:00 am, we were moved to a recovery room where my husband and Ella could be with me. Though I was in horrible discomfort, I was able to nurse Ella (I kept double-checking with the doctors and nurses that all of the meds would not interfere with breastfeeding). I was incredibly weak, so my husband fed me a sandwich and carrots from one of the hospital sack-lunches while I breastfed. They also started me on two units of blood, since I had lost so much. After feeding Ella, I was able to sleep a little bit. I remember waking up half-way through the first unit of blood to allow the nurse to take my vitals, and finally feeling alive once more.
Then came a really long 24 hours of waiting with a "Vag Pack" stuffed inside of me. The pain eventually subsided a bit, and I just became extremely uncomfortable. My poor butt hurt, no matter which way I tried to lie down. My heart goes out to the women who endure bedrest in order to protect their unborn babies, because I really struggled with just that one day.
We did the best we could to make things "normal" for Ella, but it's hard to do so when she needs me and I'm so incapacitated. My husband was amazing. He had yet to change a dirty diaper (I know, a little hard to believe--but remember that we had all four grandparents here until Thursday), but he definitely had "trial by fire". There was even one episode in which Ella continue to poop once he had undone her diaper (he eventually started stealing gloves to make the clean-up a little cleaner for him). In the early afternoon, I fed her, and he then took her over to the home of our very-dear friend (who is due, herself, on Wednesday) so that he could take a shower and she and another friend could give Ella a bath and help with wake/play time. These friends also brought us lunch and dinner as well, so that we didn't have to eat hospital food yet again. While eating, my regular doctor came by, and was as perplexed as me as to why this all developed nine days after delivery. It would make sense for it to happen right away--but I didn't have any symptoms until everything happened so quickly on Friday evening.
We tried to stick to our routine as much a possible, but it's tough in a hospital. I could nurse her, but I was stuck to an IV on one side and a catheter on the other side, and things on my legs to prevent blood clots. The nurses were amazing, and helped as much as they could. But typically, my husband was the one left to hand me Ella to feed, pick her up to burp, hand her back to me for the other side, burp her again...and then play with her, change her diaper, comfort her, or put her to sleep, depending on what was needed at that particular moment.
I was scared that removing the "Vag Pack" would be extremely painful, but the resident doctor did a good job of going slowly and carefully. Sure enough--the balled-up gauze was about the size of an apple. But it seems to have done its job, as the bleeding seems to have subsided. We were released early this morning, and have been trying to recuperate at home. My husband and I are both physically and emotionally exhausted, but Ella is our first concern. We're doing all that we can to get things back to normal for her. I'm also so grateful that my mom is going to come back tomorrow to help out. Her initial plan was to come back next week once my husband goes back to work, but given this experience, she is going to return sooner to help us out. We just need to make it through tonight on our own, and then we'll have some extra help again.
Ella's umbilical cord fell off today--which seems a little early. I know that I did all that I could to care for her while I was in the hospital, but I still can't help but worry that it wasn't enough. We have an appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow, and I really pray that everything is okay. I know I can't beat myself up--I really did absolutely everything that I could, given my condition.
My blessing is my husband. I don't know what I would do without him. He's such a good daddy to Ella, and he's a wonderful husband to me. I'm sure it must have been hard for him to see me like I was, but he's always so strong for me when I feel so weak. I love him dearly.
So here's the story of why I ended up in the hospital in the first place. On my original discharge papers, it said to call if I had any clotting larger than a ping-pong ball. On Wednesday evening, I passed a sizable clot, but it was smaller than a ping-pong ball, so my mom and I decided it was fine, and everything went back to normal after that. On Friday afternoon, I changed my pad when I went to the restroom like normal, but felt that it was full within about 30 minutes. Since it was Friday at 4:00 pm, I figured perhaps it was best to call the nurse before the start of the weekend, just to be sure. She asked me to just monitor the bleeding and call her back. About an hour later, I passed a much larger clot (perhaps the size of three ping-pong balls), but did not have a temperature or any pain. Again, the nurse asked me to just monitor the bleeding and call her back. She figured that my body had done what it needed to do by passing the clot, and since the bleeding did totally slow down, I agreed with her.
The rest of the early evening was uneventful, until about 10:00 when I nursed Ella on one side. During that 15 minutes or so, I could feel the blood flowing, and sure enough--I soaked a brand new pad in 15 minutes. I called and spoke with the on-call OB doctor, and she encouraged me to come in. Her concern was that there was part of the placenta still in place, and that I would need a D&C. I nursed Ella on the other side while my husband packed up her diaper bag and a bag for us. Again, I could feel the blood just coming and coming.
I was starting to get light-headed, so sat down on a beach towel in the car while my husband loaded Ella and everything in. Before we left, I had him grab me another towel, as I could tell that I was bleeding heavily. Sure enough, by the time we got to the hospital (about 30 minutes away), the blood had soaked through the pad and was pooling in my lap. By the time that they got me into one of the rooms and pulled my pants down, the adhesive from the pad was so saturated that it complete detached from my underwear. I had them just throw the towel, shorts, and underwear away.
The doctors did an ultrasound, assuming to find part of the placenta in the uterus. But aside from a little bit of fluid in my uterus, it was clear. So they did an internal check, which was extremely uncomfortable, and determined that I must have a tear in my vagina. They decided to operate, and prepared me for some of the various scenarios that might play out--anything from a D&C to a hysterectomy. I remember them washing off my bloody hand so that I could sign the consent forms, and being amazed at how ashen and pale my skin looked. I was able to kiss my husband and Ella as they wheeled me into surgery.
I woke up from the surgery in pain, but relieved to hear that although the situation was bad, that it was probably the best-case scenario for which I could hope. They did not have to do a D&C, as they initially feared. Rather, they determined (and I hope I'm getting this right) that I must have sustained a tear in my vagina during delivery, and that the injury has been slowly bleeding and creating a clot. So they lanced the hematoma, drained it, and then created a "Vag Pack"--which means that they stuffed my vagina full of gauze so that it would create pressure on the tear and help it to heal. I was told that the "Vag Pack" was about the size of an apple, and that it would be removed on Sunday morning.
By about 3:00 am, we were moved to a recovery room where my husband and Ella could be with me. Though I was in horrible discomfort, I was able to nurse Ella (I kept double-checking with the doctors and nurses that all of the meds would not interfere with breastfeeding). I was incredibly weak, so my husband fed me a sandwich and carrots from one of the hospital sack-lunches while I breastfed. They also started me on two units of blood, since I had lost so much. After feeding Ella, I was able to sleep a little bit. I remember waking up half-way through the first unit of blood to allow the nurse to take my vitals, and finally feeling alive once more.
Then came a really long 24 hours of waiting with a "Vag Pack" stuffed inside of me. The pain eventually subsided a bit, and I just became extremely uncomfortable. My poor butt hurt, no matter which way I tried to lie down. My heart goes out to the women who endure bedrest in order to protect their unborn babies, because I really struggled with just that one day.
We did the best we could to make things "normal" for Ella, but it's hard to do so when she needs me and I'm so incapacitated. My husband was amazing. He had yet to change a dirty diaper (I know, a little hard to believe--but remember that we had all four grandparents here until Thursday), but he definitely had "trial by fire". There was even one episode in which Ella continue to poop once he had undone her diaper (he eventually started stealing gloves to make the clean-up a little cleaner for him). In the early afternoon, I fed her, and he then took her over to the home of our very-dear friend (who is due, herself, on Wednesday) so that he could take a shower and she and another friend could give Ella a bath and help with wake/play time. These friends also brought us lunch and dinner as well, so that we didn't have to eat hospital food yet again. While eating, my regular doctor came by, and was as perplexed as me as to why this all developed nine days after delivery. It would make sense for it to happen right away--but I didn't have any symptoms until everything happened so quickly on Friday evening.
We tried to stick to our routine as much a possible, but it's tough in a hospital. I could nurse her, but I was stuck to an IV on one side and a catheter on the other side, and things on my legs to prevent blood clots. The nurses were amazing, and helped as much as they could. But typically, my husband was the one left to hand me Ella to feed, pick her up to burp, hand her back to me for the other side, burp her again...and then play with her, change her diaper, comfort her, or put her to sleep, depending on what was needed at that particular moment.
I was scared that removing the "Vag Pack" would be extremely painful, but the resident doctor did a good job of going slowly and carefully. Sure enough--the balled-up gauze was about the size of an apple. But it seems to have done its job, as the bleeding seems to have subsided. We were released early this morning, and have been trying to recuperate at home. My husband and I are both physically and emotionally exhausted, but Ella is our first concern. We're doing all that we can to get things back to normal for her. I'm also so grateful that my mom is going to come back tomorrow to help out. Her initial plan was to come back next week once my husband goes back to work, but given this experience, she is going to return sooner to help us out. We just need to make it through tonight on our own, and then we'll have some extra help again.
Ella's umbilical cord fell off today--which seems a little early. I know that I did all that I could to care for her while I was in the hospital, but I still can't help but worry that it wasn't enough. We have an appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow, and I really pray that everything is okay. I know I can't beat myself up--I really did absolutely everything that I could, given my condition.
My blessing is my husband. I don't know what I would do without him. He's such a good daddy to Ella, and he's a wonderful husband to me. I'm sure it must have been hard for him to see me like I was, but he's always so strong for me when I feel so weak. I love him dearly.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
In The Hospital Again
Ella is totally fine.
But I ended up in the hospital again due to extreme bleeding. Please pray for us.
The blessing is the nurses and doctors; and that it's not the worst case scenario. But please pray.
But I ended up in the hospital again due to extreme bleeding. Please pray for us.
The blessing is the nurses and doctors; and that it's not the worst case scenario. But please pray.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Just the Three of Us
My in-laws left this morning, and my parents left this afternoon. It's just the three of us now.
Overall, it was really nice to have everyone here. The only other time when my parents and my in-laws have spent any time together was at our wedding more than three years ago. With so many people staying under one roof, it definitely gave everyone the chance to get to know each other better. Perhaps there was just a tiny bit of tension here and there, but I think that everyone got along pretty well, for the most part.
I think that I would have preferred to have just my parents here, but it just didn't turn out that way. I think that my mother-in-law has the best intentions, but I couldn't help but feel judged by some of her little comments here and there. But I can see how she probably felt like she was in a really challenging position--she's a mom, but she's not my mom, and my mom is here, and I'm obviously going to listen to my mom before I listen to her. At the same time, my family has developed a direct style of confrontation, whereas my husband's family does not like to deal with confrontation at all, whatsoever. They prefer to ignore the situation...and then they tend to talk about the person behind their back. For example, my mom and mother-in-law went shopping yesterday (which I think was a great bonding opportunity for them, which made me really happy), and my mother-in-law complained to my mom that I bossed her (my mom--not my mother-in-law) around too much. Well...yeah. I just had a baby! I'm still uncomfortable in my "lady parts", I'm breastfeeding every couple of hours, I'm only sleeping for up to five hours at a time. So yes, I need some help around the house. And I think that my mom was more than willing to help out. Beside, our pediatrician said that if anyone is staying for a week, that they better be cleaning the bathroom! So I think that I was totally justified in asking for some help around the house while I recover and adjust, and from my conversations with my mom, she was more than happy to help out. In fact, she plans to come back in a couple of weeks once my husband goes back to work.
While I admit that I was ready to see my in-laws leave, it was really, really hard for me to see my parents drive off. I know that I'm extra hormonal right now, but I definitely cried as they packed up and said goodbye to me, my husband, and Ella. From what I hear, it was just as hard for them to leave as well (my dad blames his "allergies" for making his eyes water). I'm really looking forward to seeing my parents (and the rest of my family) again at Christmas.
So now it's just the three of us--me, my husband, and our precious Ella. The house sure feels quiet--but perhaps in a "good" way. We're still sticking with the eat-play-sleep routine, though I admit that I will miss the way my parents played with Ella and how efficient they were in helping to put her to sleep. But this does give my husband and me more quality time with her--as well as the freedom to figure things out for ourselves. It's a little bit scary to be on our own, but ultimately, we are so ready to truly begin feeling like a little family.
Today's blessing was hearing that my brother and sister-in-law had a great anatomy scan! They have opted to wait to find out the gender, so we are really excited to hear if Ella's going to have a boy or a girl cousin in February!
Overall, it was really nice to have everyone here. The only other time when my parents and my in-laws have spent any time together was at our wedding more than three years ago. With so many people staying under one roof, it definitely gave everyone the chance to get to know each other better. Perhaps there was just a tiny bit of tension here and there, but I think that everyone got along pretty well, for the most part.
I think that I would have preferred to have just my parents here, but it just didn't turn out that way. I think that my mother-in-law has the best intentions, but I couldn't help but feel judged by some of her little comments here and there. But I can see how she probably felt like she was in a really challenging position--she's a mom, but she's not my mom, and my mom is here, and I'm obviously going to listen to my mom before I listen to her. At the same time, my family has developed a direct style of confrontation, whereas my husband's family does not like to deal with confrontation at all, whatsoever. They prefer to ignore the situation...and then they tend to talk about the person behind their back. For example, my mom and mother-in-law went shopping yesterday (which I think was a great bonding opportunity for them, which made me really happy), and my mother-in-law complained to my mom that I bossed her (my mom--not my mother-in-law) around too much. Well...yeah. I just had a baby! I'm still uncomfortable in my "lady parts", I'm breastfeeding every couple of hours, I'm only sleeping for up to five hours at a time. So yes, I need some help around the house. And I think that my mom was more than willing to help out. Beside, our pediatrician said that if anyone is staying for a week, that they better be cleaning the bathroom! So I think that I was totally justified in asking for some help around the house while I recover and adjust, and from my conversations with my mom, she was more than happy to help out. In fact, she plans to come back in a couple of weeks once my husband goes back to work.
While I admit that I was ready to see my in-laws leave, it was really, really hard for me to see my parents drive off. I know that I'm extra hormonal right now, but I definitely cried as they packed up and said goodbye to me, my husband, and Ella. From what I hear, it was just as hard for them to leave as well (my dad blames his "allergies" for making his eyes water). I'm really looking forward to seeing my parents (and the rest of my family) again at Christmas.
So now it's just the three of us--me, my husband, and our precious Ella. The house sure feels quiet--but perhaps in a "good" way. We're still sticking with the eat-play-sleep routine, though I admit that I will miss the way my parents played with Ella and how efficient they were in helping to put her to sleep. But this does give my husband and me more quality time with her--as well as the freedom to figure things out for ourselves. It's a little bit scary to be on our own, but ultimately, we are so ready to truly begin feeling like a little family.
Today's blessing was hearing that my brother and sister-in-law had a great anatomy scan! They have opted to wait to find out the gender, so we are really excited to hear if Ella's going to have a boy or a girl cousin in February!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Birth Story
Plainly said, September 30th was one of the happiest days of my life.
I left off with my getting-things-started update around 7:00 am on Thursday morning. Looking back and reading through that post, I sounded so chipper and excited. I really was ready to get things started and meet our Baby Girl. It was around that time that they started the Pitocin, so I really began to feel the contractions. But the pain was totally manageable. In fact, I opted to sit on the labor ball and play a game of Scrabble against my husband. I felt good enough to let my very-dear friend (who is due next week!) come up to the room to visit. The only problem was that the monitors didn't like my movement on the ball, and the nurses kept coming in to check to make sure everything was okay. So I eventually just went back to the bed.
Around 8:00 am or so, the new day Resident doctor came in to check, and opted to break my water. I was so surprised at how warm it was and how much it gushed everywhere! What a sensation! (And in case anyone is wondering--not painful).
During this phase, I was feeling contractions every 2-4 minutes that lasted about 45-60 seconds. My husband was great about helping me breath through them, as it was my goal to try to have a natural birth. As the morning went on, the nurse continued to check on me, and continued to up the Pitocin, as she wanted to get me to "active labor" with contractions 2 minutes apart (or less). I asked the nurse how long it would take to continue to dilate, and she said that once I hit the "active labor" stage, that--on average--it would take about an hour per centimeter. At the time, I was at 4 centimeters, and I admit that since I hadn't slept much the night before, I was started to get tired. The contractions were also getting more painful (thanks to the Pitocin)...so I broke. I opted for the epidural. Like I said, I was hoping for a natural birth because of the cyclical nature of the labor process, and how one thing leads to the next. But when I heard it would probably be six more more hours before pushing...I gave in and asked for the epidural.
But perhaps that was a mistake. As the Anaesthesiologist(s) began to prep me, I mentioned--mostly as a joke--that I have scoliosis. This turned out to be more problematic than I had realized. I opted to give birth at a teaching hospital, and the poor Resident was having a hard time finding the right location to insert the epidural. It was a really frustrating process, and I was continuing to experience pretty intense contractions through it all. Three attempts later, and the Attending Anaesthesiologist finally got it in...but all it really did was numb my right thigh. They tried different dosages, and I think even different medications. I know that they made adjustments as least three times, but it still did not seem to be helping. They had me lie on my side, hoping that gravity would kick in.
It was while I was on my side that I felt the sudden urge to push. All along, I hadn't ever hit the call-button for the nurse. I know that's what they are there for, but I didn't want to be too much of a burden. But suddenly, I needed someone...and I needed them quick.
In all the confusion of the epidural, I hadn't been checked at the two-hour increment as had been planned. So my new nurse (my original day nurse had two patients, and had transitioned over to the other woman) checked me, and sure enough--I was at 10 centimeters! I had gone from 4 to 10 in about two hours! So much for the "one centimeter per hour" rule that the original nurse had suggested! And no wonder I felt the need to push!
They got my doctor, gave me my instructions on what to do, and then the real fun began. I'm proud to say that I did not poop on the table...though I'm embarrassed to admit that I did totally empty my bladder on that first push. Oh well...they've seen it all, right? I ended up pushing for about two hours, and I do think that the epidural finally kicked in a bit, because I was able to rest (if you can call it that) between pushes. We noticed that each of my contractions was lasting longer than the series of three pushes, so my doctor asked me to wait off on starting to push so as to maximize the contraction at the end. It's not quite as easy as it sounds! But I sure tried, and I also tried to give a valiant final bonus fourth push at the end of each series as well. Toward the end, I was rather delirious from the pain and the exhaustion.
But all of that changed at 2:10 pm, when I felt her head emerge, pushed again to release one shoulder and then the next, and then finally saw the precious gift from God for which I have waited for so long. I was initially a tiny bit concerned that she looked rather purple, but she immediately cried, and they gave her to me right away. She was (and continues to be) so precious! I only got to hold her for about five minutes before they took her back to get her cleaned up and weighed, but then they gave her back to me to nurse. I was so excited that she latched right away, and has continued to do so ever since.
Once they finished cleaning me up, my parents--who had arrived about two hours earlier, just as I was getting ready to push--came in to the delivery room to meet their new granddaughter. It was also at this time that my husband and I decided on her name, Eleanor Debra, or Ella as a nickname. They then took her down to the nursery for about two hours of check-ups and observation. It broke my heart to see her leave so soon, but it gave me the chance to (finally!) eat and sleep. I was then moved downstairs to a recovery room, and was (finally!) reunited with Ella.
That first night in the hospital was super easy! Ella was a perfect little angel, and the nurse had to wake me up in the middle of the night to have me wake her up to nurse. The next morning, they took her back to the nursery for more observations and to see the Pediatrician, who reported back to us that she is in excellent health. We were released from the hospital about 4:30 pm that day--about 26 hours after giving birth.
It was wonderful to come home...though Ella wasn't nearly as angelic those first two nights as she was that night in the hospital. My mom was fabulous about helping out when I just couldn't get Ella to go back to sleep without sticking my boob in her mouth. After that second long night at home, I knew that something had to change. I had started but hadn't yet finished reading On Becoming Babywise, so I pulled it back out to refresh on those principles. Since then, we've really endeavored to establish an eat-play-sleep routine during the day, and it really seems to be helping. With this routine, Ella has slept much better for the last two nights. In fact, I'd say that last night was nearly as close to perfect as I could hope for a less-than-one-week old. I know it won't always be this way, but I do feel a sense of accomplishment for helping her get into a routine. My parents and in-laws will leave this weekend, and we'll be on our own at that point.
My blessing for today is my parents. It's nice to have my in-laws here as well, but my mom and dad have really stepped up to help out. Not only have they been helping with Ella, but my mom is cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking out my trash, and consoling me when I feel like my mother-in-law is being judgemental; and my dad has been pulling a gazillion weeds in our yard that have been overlooked during my pregnancy. I am so thrilled to be able to share these first few days of Ella's life with them. They are wonderful parents, and amazing grandparents!
I left off with my getting-things-started update around 7:00 am on Thursday morning. Looking back and reading through that post, I sounded so chipper and excited. I really was ready to get things started and meet our Baby Girl. It was around that time that they started the Pitocin, so I really began to feel the contractions. But the pain was totally manageable. In fact, I opted to sit on the labor ball and play a game of Scrabble against my husband. I felt good enough to let my very-dear friend (who is due next week!) come up to the room to visit. The only problem was that the monitors didn't like my movement on the ball, and the nurses kept coming in to check to make sure everything was okay. So I eventually just went back to the bed.
Around 8:00 am or so, the new day Resident doctor came in to check, and opted to break my water. I was so surprised at how warm it was and how much it gushed everywhere! What a sensation! (And in case anyone is wondering--not painful).
During this phase, I was feeling contractions every 2-4 minutes that lasted about 45-60 seconds. My husband was great about helping me breath through them, as it was my goal to try to have a natural birth. As the morning went on, the nurse continued to check on me, and continued to up the Pitocin, as she wanted to get me to "active labor" with contractions 2 minutes apart (or less). I asked the nurse how long it would take to continue to dilate, and she said that once I hit the "active labor" stage, that--on average--it would take about an hour per centimeter. At the time, I was at 4 centimeters, and I admit that since I hadn't slept much the night before, I was started to get tired. The contractions were also getting more painful (thanks to the Pitocin)...so I broke. I opted for the epidural. Like I said, I was hoping for a natural birth because of the cyclical nature of the labor process, and how one thing leads to the next. But when I heard it would probably be six more more hours before pushing...I gave in and asked for the epidural.
But perhaps that was a mistake. As the Anaesthesiologist(s) began to prep me, I mentioned--mostly as a joke--that I have scoliosis. This turned out to be more problematic than I had realized. I opted to give birth at a teaching hospital, and the poor Resident was having a hard time finding the right location to insert the epidural. It was a really frustrating process, and I was continuing to experience pretty intense contractions through it all. Three attempts later, and the Attending Anaesthesiologist finally got it in...but all it really did was numb my right thigh. They tried different dosages, and I think even different medications. I know that they made adjustments as least three times, but it still did not seem to be helping. They had me lie on my side, hoping that gravity would kick in.
It was while I was on my side that I felt the sudden urge to push. All along, I hadn't ever hit the call-button for the nurse. I know that's what they are there for, but I didn't want to be too much of a burden. But suddenly, I needed someone...and I needed them quick.
In all the confusion of the epidural, I hadn't been checked at the two-hour increment as had been planned. So my new nurse (my original day nurse had two patients, and had transitioned over to the other woman) checked me, and sure enough--I was at 10 centimeters! I had gone from 4 to 10 in about two hours! So much for the "one centimeter per hour" rule that the original nurse had suggested! And no wonder I felt the need to push!
They got my doctor, gave me my instructions on what to do, and then the real fun began. I'm proud to say that I did not poop on the table...though I'm embarrassed to admit that I did totally empty my bladder on that first push. Oh well...they've seen it all, right? I ended up pushing for about two hours, and I do think that the epidural finally kicked in a bit, because I was able to rest (if you can call it that) between pushes. We noticed that each of my contractions was lasting longer than the series of three pushes, so my doctor asked me to wait off on starting to push so as to maximize the contraction at the end. It's not quite as easy as it sounds! But I sure tried, and I also tried to give a valiant final bonus fourth push at the end of each series as well. Toward the end, I was rather delirious from the pain and the exhaustion.
But all of that changed at 2:10 pm, when I felt her head emerge, pushed again to release one shoulder and then the next, and then finally saw the precious gift from God for which I have waited for so long. I was initially a tiny bit concerned that she looked rather purple, but she immediately cried, and they gave her to me right away. She was (and continues to be) so precious! I only got to hold her for about five minutes before they took her back to get her cleaned up and weighed, but then they gave her back to me to nurse. I was so excited that she latched right away, and has continued to do so ever since.
Once they finished cleaning me up, my parents--who had arrived about two hours earlier, just as I was getting ready to push--came in to the delivery room to meet their new granddaughter. It was also at this time that my husband and I decided on her name, Eleanor Debra, or Ella as a nickname. They then took her down to the nursery for about two hours of check-ups and observation. It broke my heart to see her leave so soon, but it gave me the chance to (finally!) eat and sleep. I was then moved downstairs to a recovery room, and was (finally!) reunited with Ella.
That first night in the hospital was super easy! Ella was a perfect little angel, and the nurse had to wake me up in the middle of the night to have me wake her up to nurse. The next morning, they took her back to the nursery for more observations and to see the Pediatrician, who reported back to us that she is in excellent health. We were released from the hospital about 4:30 pm that day--about 26 hours after giving birth.
It was wonderful to come home...though Ella wasn't nearly as angelic those first two nights as she was that night in the hospital. My mom was fabulous about helping out when I just couldn't get Ella to go back to sleep without sticking my boob in her mouth. After that second long night at home, I knew that something had to change. I had started but hadn't yet finished reading On Becoming Babywise, so I pulled it back out to refresh on those principles. Since then, we've really endeavored to establish an eat-play-sleep routine during the day, and it really seems to be helping. With this routine, Ella has slept much better for the last two nights. In fact, I'd say that last night was nearly as close to perfect as I could hope for a less-than-one-week old. I know it won't always be this way, but I do feel a sense of accomplishment for helping her get into a routine. My parents and in-laws will leave this weekend, and we'll be on our own at that point.
My blessing for today is my parents. It's nice to have my in-laws here as well, but my mom and dad have really stepped up to help out. Not only have they been helping with Ella, but my mom is cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking out my trash, and consoling me when I feel like my mother-in-law is being judgemental; and my dad has been pulling a gazillion weeds in our yard that have been overlooked during my pregnancy. I am so thrilled to be able to share these first few days of Ella's life with them. They are wonderful parents, and amazing grandparents!
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Pictures and Quick Update
Thank you so so so much to everyone's outpouring of well wishes, encouragement, and support. I was totally overwhelmed by so many of your loving comments!
I want to write more...but, well...I have a newborn to love on! So this is just a quick update to let everyone know that both Ella and I are home, healthy, and happy. I'm tired and sore, but my husband and parents have been absolutely wonderful at doing everything around the house and letting me just sit and rest and nurse. I promise to share the birth story when I have a moment, but for now, I'll leave you with some more pictures:
Her onesie says "My Dad Rocks"...and yes, my husband (who is a drummer) does totally rock. He is amazing with her, and I fall more and more in love with him every time I see him with her.
Yeah...that pretty much wraps up how I felt yesterday afternoon when we got home from the hospital. Not exactly the most glamorous picture of me, but there is nothing better than having Ella here with me now!
As for today's blessing, I am so overwhelmed at God's goodness! I have waited so long for this precious gift, and now that she is here, she is so much better than I ever could have imagined! It was a long journey, but I learned so much along the way. I pray that God continue to bless me as I attempt to be a good mom to this amazing little girl.
Thank you, again for all of your love and prayers and support! So many of you are so special to me, and please know that I pray for you often. There were also comments of support from names that I admit that I don't recognize. If you want to connect with me, please feel free to email me at dougandlaura(dot)ullrich(at)gmail(dot)com. Sincerely, thank you again! God bless!
I want to write more...but, well...I have a newborn to love on! So this is just a quick update to let everyone know that both Ella and I are home, healthy, and happy. I'm tired and sore, but my husband and parents have been absolutely wonderful at doing everything around the house and letting me just sit and rest and nurse. I promise to share the birth story when I have a moment, but for now, I'll leave you with some more pictures:
As for today's blessing, I am so overwhelmed at God's goodness! I have waited so long for this precious gift, and now that she is here, she is so much better than I ever could have imagined! It was a long journey, but I learned so much along the way. I pray that God continue to bless me as I attempt to be a good mom to this amazing little girl.
Thank you, again for all of your love and prayers and support! So many of you are so special to me, and please know that I pray for you often. There were also comments of support from names that I admit that I don't recognize. If you want to connect with me, please feel free to email me at dougandlaura(dot)ullrich(at)gmail(dot)com. Sincerely, thank you again! God bless!
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