What I'm starting to realize is that I am very protective of my time. I feel like I'm functioning just fine--as long as I am able to take the time that I need for myself. This means cutting a lot of things out of my "outside personal life" in order to make room for my "inside personal life"...if that makes any sense. I'm an introvert by nature, but for the most part, I usually try to put myself out there whenever I can. But in order to feel like I'm "thriving" more than simply "surviving", I have had to cut some things and decline some others.
Most of the time, I don't have any issues about living a rather "boring" life, by others' standards. But I do feel bad about declining an invitation to join a new Bible study. I still make my own personal prayer journal a priority each morning, but I'm afraid that stressing about meals and bedtimes once a week wouldn't do anything to strengthen my relationship with Christ. Maybe I'll try to join when Anna's a little older, but for now, I just can't commit.
I know that our lifestyle will change, in time, as the girls become more independent and when they start to want to be involved with things. I want to be able to encourage them to try sports and theater and youth groups and explore all kinds of other things when the time is right. I know that I'll need to sacrifice a lot of "my" time in the future. I choose to work, so that leaves only the evenings and weekends for "family time", so I'm hesitant, for now, to run off to sign us up for everything under the sun. For now, I just want to enjoy my girls as much as I can in the time that we do have together.
Today's blessing is that the girls are both taking incredible naps this afternoon, which gives me the unique opportunity to write a blog post. We went to the zoo this morning, and I must have tuckered them both out, because they are both going on three-hour naps. I even snuck away for a quick run around the block (I hadn't run for two months because I got kicked by horse...but perhaps we'll save that story for another day).
