Wednesday, November 28, 2012

"Go Away, Mommy"

I realize that I will probably get plenty more in the years to come, but I got my first "Go away, Mommy!" last night. 

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend away with my family in Northern California, and overall, Ella did really well.  She got a little naughty here and there, which we tried our best to address, but was mostly a pretty well-behaved little girl.  But apparently transitioning back to a regular routine has been a bit harder for her, and she wasn't so cooperative on our drive home yesterday.  After giving her a couple of chances to climb into her carseat herself, I finally had to force her into her chair.  Ooh--she was pissed!!!  I haven't heard her scream that hard in months!  And then she told me to go away. 


It stings to hear the child that you prayed for, hoped for, yearned for, cared for telling you to go away.  I know that she was upset with me--I totally get it.  But it still hurts.

It hurt to drive home with her screaming and crying in the backseat, so I pulled over and asked if she wanted me to hold her, to which she blubbered and nodded.  We had a little cuddle and a little talk.  I told her it made me sad that she told me to go away.  I told her that I loved her, and that I would always love her.  She calmed down, climbed into her carseat, and we headed home.

Last night, when she went to sleep, I picked her up and cuddled her again, and again told her just how much I love her and how I will always be there for her, even when she tells me to go away.  We're bound to have disagreements in the years to come, but I hope that I can help her to believe that I will always love her, always want her, always cherish her--they way I knew and believed that my parents felt about me.

Despite my hurt feelings, my blessing yesterday was how awesome my husband was in understanding me and standing by me to convey our concern and disappointment to Ella.  He made dinner for us, and met me at the door to have a little talk with her.  There are plenty of times when he frustrates me; but he was a huge blessing last night. 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Ella-isms (Vol. 6)

My most recent posts have been a little gloomy lately, haven't they?  I figured it was time to brighten things up with an update on the latest silly and sassy Ella-isms:

The Family That Prays Together
Ella has been more than willing to hold our hands to say prayers at dinnertime for the last year or so.  Our prayers are "unscripted", in the sense that we just thank God for the food and tell Him whatever else is on our minds.  We've never "expected" Ella to bow her head--nor do I think that we've ever even encouraged her to do so--but she picked up on our cues, and has started to bow her head all the way to the table during our prayers.  And lately, she has insisted on saying the prayers herself, which consists mainly of "Dear Jesus...thank!".

"I Do It!"
Let's just say that she is becoming more and more and more independent by the day.  I try to wipe her bottom and get "I do it!".  I try to pour her a glass of milk and get "I do it!".  I try to pick up a toy that she dropped and get "I do it!".  I try to wipe her nose and get "I do it!".  I try to put on her clothes because we need to leave the house and get in the car and drive to work and get "I do it! I do it! I do it!".  I'm trying to appreciate her independence...but I admit that it did seem to make me late to work nearly every day this week. 

"I No Like Lettuce"
Ella will eat nearly anything that we present to her, but for some reason, she doesn't like lettuce!  I swear I ate my healthy share of salads when I was pregnant with her!  In fact, I requested that we go out to dinner at a salad bar place the night that I was induced!  But apparently it wasn't enough--because any time a meal has lettuce in it, she is quick to remind us that she doesn't like the stuff.  And on the occasion when she does ask for a bit of our taco or hamburger and ends up with a piece of lettuce in her mouth, she quickly spits it out, hands it to me, and insists "Mommy eat this".

Taco Tuesday
Speaking of tacos, have I ever shared that my husband insists on eating tacos every Tuesday?  It's silly, but I'll admit that I like them too.  As for Ella--she would be more than happy if every day of the week were Taco Tuesday.  She does, however, like that the garbage truck comes on Wednesday, but she would be okay with having Taco Tuesday every other day of the week.

Ice, Ice, Baby
Any time that Ella gets a little bump, she wails for ice.   Not kisses, not cuddles, not band-aids, just ice.  Even the smallest, lightest bumps result in a plea for ice.  Her pain and misery are quickly relieved, but I end up with little puddles everywhere.  She also insists on ice in her water--though neither my husband or I ever really put ice in our waters at home.  We live in the desert--so I get that she wants her water cold during the summer, but we'll see if she keeps up the trend now that it's starting to get cooler (as in, mid-80's today). 

Food Friends
A colleague recently asked if I ever look at clouds with Ella and try to find shapes.  We haven't yet; but last night she found an owl in her open-faced grilled cheese-bread.  She then proceeded to eat a little more, and then show us that her owl was flying.  This morning, she told me that he hard-boiled egg was a piggy.  I admit--I don't see the little animals in her food as she does, but I love that she is developing such an amazing imagination!

"Jesus Helps Me"
I don't know quite how or when it started, but I think it was when we were going through a rough spot with putting her down at night.  For a while, she fought her bedtime, so I tried to convince her that Jesus could help her stay safe.  Since then, whenever she's having a meltdown, if I ask her what would help her to feel better, she always answers "Jesus".  And so, we'll say a little prayer and/or sing "Jesus Loves Me", and we're good to go again.  It's quite amazing!  And it's such a tender reminder that He can indeed help me to have patience with her in those frustrating moments as well.  I just need to remember how to encourage this reliance on Him without "abusing" it.

She amazes me with something new every day, but I'll leave you with those little tid-bits for now. 

Today's blessing is a reminder of the understanding and encouragement that I get from this blog community.  I know I've been a little frustrated and gloomy recently, but I really appreciate those of you who get it and have been here and continue to root and hope for us.  Please know that your words mean so much to me.