I'll Take It!

After last month's crazy-long 46-day cycle, I'm happy to report that this last cycle was 33 days.  That's the shortest (or "most normal") cycle I've had since it came back!  Sure, I wish it had resulted in a pregnancy, but I'll take it!

I will, however, admit that I ate like crap...which doesn't make any physiological sense as to why my cycle would be long when I was careful about my glucose intake and short when I had a month-long pity-party and ate every morsel of sweetness in site (keep in mind I have PCOS/insulin resistance).  I recognize that I need to find my "happy medium", where I make healthy decisions without going bonkers and getting too consumed with my hopes and dreams of being pregnant again.

I had considered checking in with my RE again to confirm that we stick to the protocol we had been on when we were waiting for Ella.  He started me on the Metformin and charged me with changing my diet and exercise routine in February 2009, when I was 40 pounds heavier than what I am now.  If my cycles had continued in the 40+ range again, I think I would have called him.  But a 33-day cycle gives me hope, so I think I'll just keep on doing what we've been doing for a little longer.

My husband and I also had a pretty long heart-to-heart about "carrying the emotional burden" involved with trying to get pregnant when confronted with in/fertility issues.  Physiologically, the woman clearly bears an unequal share of the work.  Conception is dependent on her body's ability to regulate its hormones and properly present an egg in an ideal environment.  She then needs her body to continue to carefully regulate those hormones as a new life begins, and then carry and nurture that new and growing life for nine more months--only to go through the agonizing pain of childbirth (followed by sleepless nights and being tethered to a breastfeeding baby).  Her partner, on the other hand, can make a quick donation, and his task is (physiologically) done.  But I need more from my husband.  I need him to be going to God in prayer.  I need him to be aware of my cycle.  I need him to lovingly remind me that I don't really need that cookie after dinner.  I need him to give Ella a bath so I can go for a quick run.  I feel that we're now on the same page, so all we can do is hope and pray and trust God.

Today's blessing is more yardwork.  My husband rented a tractor so that he can tackle some of the bigger projects that he's been hoping to do, and then we'll order another load of rocks.  It's so much work to make this space look nicer, but I really feel good about making it a nice space for Ella.