We Have to Wait For Our Turn

We're trying to help Ella learn the concept of taking turns.  It happens daily--whether it be playing a game, turning into traffic, or saying prayers at the dinner table.  She seems to get the concept--and tells me (and even sometimes signs to me still) that we need to "wait". 

It dawned on me this morning that I could still use a toddler-lesson in waiting my turn.  I want to be pregnant again, I want to have another baby, I want to join the growing list of moms who are expecting their second child...and yet, we have to wait for our turn.

My most recently cycle quietly appeared the night before Thanksgiving as we were packing, on Day 31.  I say "quietly" because it was the lightest, strangest cycle I've ever had.  I kept waiting for it to turn into something more substantive, but it never did.  You know me--I hoped it was a "fake" and that I was miraculously pregnant, but a test at my doctor's office during my annual exam confirmed I was not. 

I brought up my concerns with my doctor, but she cheerfully assured me that it's completely normal to go a year without conceiving.  I tried to argue that it had been two years--but she doesn't count the year that I was nursing Ella (which is understandable).  When I was pregnant with Ella, I totally appreciated my doctor's cheerful enthusiasm.  Now that we're trying again...I don't appreciate it nearly as much.

But she's right--I'm having mostly normal cycles, I'm keeping a healthy weight through diet and exercise, and I'm still on the Metformin.  She cheerfully believes that we'll be able to conceive on our own again--but invited me to come back in 5-6 months if it doesn't happen by then.  I know that I could go back to the RE and advocate more strongly with my doctor--but part of me just says "she's right--we have to wait for our turn". 

My blessing from this weekend was that I got into a little accident, but the woman was completely forgiving.  It wasn't even a "fender bender"--it was really just a tiny scrape, and I think that I was more at fault that she.  But she assured me that it was so minor that she didn't want to complicate things.  It could have been so much worse, but God is good.