I thought 2007 was a pretty good year. We got married, bought a house, started new jobs, watched one brother graduate from college and the other brother get married, and said goodbye to birth control. All in all, it was a great year. But in my book, 2010 beat the socks off of 2007.
If you think about it, I was "with child" for the entire year. My last cycle started on 12/18/09, and I conceived somewhere in early January 2010. I stayed pregnant all the way up until we induced on September 30th. Since that amazing day, I've enjoyed these last three months at home with Ella to finish off the year. So yes, I've been "with child" for the entire span of 2010.
I loved just about everything about this year from start to finish. After that big talk with my husband (the one where he confessed that he thought that I was sad 40% of the time), I resolved to focus on "showing him more of my inner joy" (those were the words I used at the time). And so I did. After abstaining from any alcohol at the recommendation of my RE for most of 2009, I let myself enjoy a glass of champagne with him to ring in the new year. We were celebrating the holidays with my husband's family in Montana, and my mother-in-law would like to think that we conceived there (when I pointed out that the timing wasn't quite right, she tried to take credit for helping me to "relax" during our visit which thus apparently enabled me to conceive...I had to tell myself that this wasn't a battle worth fighting with her--let her think what she wants). I got the positive pregnancy test in late January, but held my breath until February 16th when we saw that beautiful little flicker of Ella's heartbeat. I admit that I was so scared of losing another baby, but God surrounded me with a peace and a comfort that I hadn't experienced before. With each day, my faith and confidence grew, and aside from a few little internal freak-out moments, I truly enjoyed my pregnancy. And now I love having Ella in my life. It's so weird to think that she's only been with us for three months, and yet has already had such a huge impact on us.
I thought I had it all in 2007. Then the struggles and losses we faced in 2008 and 2009 changed me in unimaginable ways. But those years helped prepare me for the unmeasurable joy that I experienced in 2010. And now I earnestly look forward to all that God has in store for us in 2011.
Happy New Year!
Today's blessing is not only the chance to celebrate all that 2010 held for us, but to also celebrate my grandma's birthday. It was wonderful to see her while we were home, and I'm so glad that Ella had a chance to meet her great-grandmother.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
It's Decided
I brought my husband in to check out the daycare which I think is "the one". He felt good about it too. So it's decided--we officially have a daycare center for Ella...a whole four days before I go back to work on Monday. I'm totally dreading leaving Ella, but at least we feel good about the daycare center so far (and I pray that I'll still feel the same way once Ella starts attending full-time).
Today's blessing was visiting with my hairdresser as I got my hair trimmed in preparation for my return to work. The last time I got it cut was a week or two before Ella was born, so it's been a while. I've been going to her ever since I moved here seven years ago, and it's always such a pleasure to chat with her. And I love that she doesn't judge me for being super boring and low-maintenance with my plain old long straight hair.
Today's blessing was visiting with my hairdresser as I got my hair trimmed in preparation for my return to work. The last time I got it cut was a week or two before Ella was born, so it's been a while. I've been going to her ever since I moved here seven years ago, and it's always such a pleasure to chat with her. And I love that she doesn't judge me for being super boring and low-maintenance with my plain old long straight hair.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Home Sweet Home
We made it home, and it's never been so sweet! We had a wonderful visit with my family, but it was most definitely time for us to come home and try to re-establish some sort of normalcy in our lives.
We spent just over a week at home with my family, and it made me realize just how different it is to go on vacation with an infant. As if it's not enough to throw a new house and new sleeping arrangements at her, every day and night was something different. We traipsed Ella all over Northern California to meet new family members, kept her up late to visit friends and look at Christmas lights after the Christmas Eve service, and pretty much expected her to adjust to our crazy schedule. Poor girl--everything about the visit was different. She handled it as well as could be expected, but we ended up returning home a day early and opted to drive through the night again to try to be as good to her as possible. We had initially planned to split up our return trip into two days and visit my childhood friend after whom Ella is named, but my mom came down with a nasty cold and our extended-family Christmas gathering ended up being pushed to the 28th, so we just left from there and drove through the night and got home around 10:00 am this morning.
My husband and I both feel that Ella did better on the return trip than on the trip up to Northern California. She seemed to sleep for longer periods, woke up less, and calmed down quicker when she was put back in her carseat. She did have a pretty major blowout when we stopped to get gas just outside of Los Angeles that required an outfit change, but after our recent shopping adventures, I made sure to have three spares. Now that we're home, she seems to be rested and happy. The true test will come tonight when we see how she sleeps in her own cradle again.
It was such a blessing to visit my family, but we're also equally blessed to have made it home safely. It rained on us all the way until we reached Los Angeles, and again as we crossed into Arizona. But my husband and I took turns driving and didn't run into any problems.
We spent just over a week at home with my family, and it made me realize just how different it is to go on vacation with an infant. As if it's not enough to throw a new house and new sleeping arrangements at her, every day and night was something different. We traipsed Ella all over Northern California to meet new family members, kept her up late to visit friends and look at Christmas lights after the Christmas Eve service, and pretty much expected her to adjust to our crazy schedule. Poor girl--everything about the visit was different. She handled it as well as could be expected, but we ended up returning home a day early and opted to drive through the night again to try to be as good to her as possible. We had initially planned to split up our return trip into two days and visit my childhood friend after whom Ella is named, but my mom came down with a nasty cold and our extended-family Christmas gathering ended up being pushed to the 28th, so we just left from there and drove through the night and got home around 10:00 am this morning.
My husband and I both feel that Ella did better on the return trip than on the trip up to Northern California. She seemed to sleep for longer periods, woke up less, and calmed down quicker when she was put back in her carseat. She did have a pretty major blowout when we stopped to get gas just outside of Los Angeles that required an outfit change, but after our recent shopping adventures, I made sure to have three spares. Now that we're home, she seems to be rested and happy. The true test will come tonight when we see how she sleeps in her own cradle again.
It was such a blessing to visit my family, but we're also equally blessed to have made it home safely. It rained on us all the way until we reached Los Angeles, and again as we crossed into Arizona. But my husband and I took turns driving and didn't run into any problems.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Shopping Adventures
I spent the afternoon shopping with my sister-in-law and Ella yesterday. My sister-in-law is 32 weeks pregnant, and so she and my brother are trying to get everything in order. We started by checking out a baby consignment shop. Since Ella was sleeping peacefully when we arrived and I wasn't going to buy too much, I opted to just pick her up out of the carseat and hold her and let her snuggle up. We weren't in the store for even five minutes when I heard the unmistakable poop sound. I waited just a bit longer to see if she had any more in her, and then brought her out to the car to change. Perhaps I waited too long, or perhaps it was because she was cuddled up against me, or perhaps it's because she was wearing a cheap diaper (the only Size 1 package we could find in my whole little town), but by the time we got out to the car, she had leaked. No biggie--I had a change of clothes. So I got her cleaned up and into the new outfit and rejoined my sister-in-law as she was finishing up her purchases.
Then it was on to Babies-R-Us to update my sister-in-law's registry and return the carrier that I had gotten her (she had registered for it and then received a hand-me-down from a friend). As I picked up Ella, I was a little surprised to realize that she smelled like poop again (I had just changed her about a half-hour ago). But not to worry--I figured that they would have a "Mommy Room" which would make it easy to change her, and I figured that I would feed her as well. Sure enough, Ella had a little more poop, so I changed that diaper...and started to worry that I only had one more clean diaper left. I started calculating the amount of time that we had left shopping and trying to figure out if I could make it home with just that one remaining diaper. Well, apparently I was thinking too much about future diapers and not focusing on the diaper at hand...because the next thing I know, Ella is peeing all over the changing table and soaking her onesie--yes, the change of clothes that I had used from the last change. Well goodness. I figured I might as well feed her while we were in the Mommy's Room, and then buy her a new outfit. So there I am, carrying my nearly naked baby around Babies-R-Us in the middle of winter. I grab an outfit as quickly as possible, pay for it, and ask the cashier to cut the tags so that she can wear it right away (I'm a bad mother for not washing it first).
So we continue with our shopping, meet up with my husband and dad and brothers for dinner, and then head back to my brother and sister-in-law's home for cheesecake. As I was slicing the cheesecake, my husband brought Ella over to me and asked to borrow my nose (he's still queasy about poopy diapers). Sure enough...another dirty one...and another little mess. She had somehow managed to get poop on the outer pants, but hardly any on the onesie (I guess the knock-off diaper "helped" this time by letting it trickle out the leg instead of out the back or front). So much for the new outfit! Luckily, I had been able to rescue the pants from the change in Babies-R-Us before her pee made its way across the changing table (though I lost a burp cloth in the process of cleaning it all up). So in one day, she dirtied two onesies and two pairs of pants within a four-hour shopping adventure. I thought I was a smart mom for bringing a change of clothes...but now I'm thinking that I might need to pack two--if not three!
Aside from the diaper and wardrobe changes, it was such a blessing to spend some time with my sister-in-law. I really enjoy her company, and I am so excited for her to have this baby and for Ella to have a cousin soon. They will be 20 weeks apart, and I hope that they can be good friends despite the distance.
Then it was on to Babies-R-Us to update my sister-in-law's registry and return the carrier that I had gotten her (she had registered for it and then received a hand-me-down from a friend). As I picked up Ella, I was a little surprised to realize that she smelled like poop again (I had just changed her about a half-hour ago). But not to worry--I figured that they would have a "Mommy Room" which would make it easy to change her, and I figured that I would feed her as well. Sure enough, Ella had a little more poop, so I changed that diaper...and started to worry that I only had one more clean diaper left. I started calculating the amount of time that we had left shopping and trying to figure out if I could make it home with just that one remaining diaper. Well, apparently I was thinking too much about future diapers and not focusing on the diaper at hand...because the next thing I know, Ella is peeing all over the changing table and soaking her onesie--yes, the change of clothes that I had used from the last change. Well goodness. I figured I might as well feed her while we were in the Mommy's Room, and then buy her a new outfit. So there I am, carrying my nearly naked baby around Babies-R-Us in the middle of winter. I grab an outfit as quickly as possible, pay for it, and ask the cashier to cut the tags so that she can wear it right away (I'm a bad mother for not washing it first).
So we continue with our shopping, meet up with my husband and dad and brothers for dinner, and then head back to my brother and sister-in-law's home for cheesecake. As I was slicing the cheesecake, my husband brought Ella over to me and asked to borrow my nose (he's still queasy about poopy diapers). Sure enough...another dirty one...and another little mess. She had somehow managed to get poop on the outer pants, but hardly any on the onesie (I guess the knock-off diaper "helped" this time by letting it trickle out the leg instead of out the back or front). So much for the new outfit! Luckily, I had been able to rescue the pants from the change in Babies-R-Us before her pee made its way across the changing table (though I lost a burp cloth in the process of cleaning it all up). So in one day, she dirtied two onesies and two pairs of pants within a four-hour shopping adventure. I thought I was a smart mom for bringing a change of clothes...but now I'm thinking that I might need to pack two--if not three!
Aside from the diaper and wardrobe changes, it was such a blessing to spend some time with my sister-in-law. I really enjoy her company, and I am so excited for her to have this baby and for Ella to have a cousin soon. They will be 20 weeks apart, and I hope that they can be good friends despite the distance.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas!
We had a wonderful time celebrating the birth of Christ last night at the Christmas Eve service, and the celebration will continue today with my immediate family and tomorrow with the extended family. Here is a sweet shot of me and Ella from last night:
I love that I look (and truly am) so happy! I think back to this time last year when I had a big heart-to-heart conversation with my husband in which he told me that I seemed sad 40% of the time. What a difference a year makes! Last year, all I wanted for Christmas was a baby...and I finally got her. This year, I truly have everything that I need. What a special gift to celebrate my baby's first Christmas!
Among so many other things, I'm blessed to be able to celebrate Ella's first Christmas with my husband and my family. We're surrounded by people who love us, and God is so good!
I love that I look (and truly am) so happy! I think back to this time last year when I had a big heart-to-heart conversation with my husband in which he told me that I seemed sad 40% of the time. What a difference a year makes! Last year, all I wanted for Christmas was a baby...and I finally got her. This year, I truly have everything that I need. What a special gift to celebrate my baby's first Christmas!
Among so many other things, I'm blessed to be able to celebrate Ella's first Christmas with my husband and my family. We're surrounded by people who love us, and God is so good!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Great-Grandparents
Ella met her paternal Great-Grandmother and Great-Boppy (Great-Grandfather) on Monday, and then met her maternal Great-Grandmother yesterday (my other Grandfather passed in 2002). My dad wasn't with us for the visit with his parents, but we'll see them again on the day after Christmas. I was able to get a picture of the four generations with Ella, my mom, and her mom, but I haven't been able to download the picture yet.
It was really special for me to be able to share Ella with my grandparents. When me mom's father passed away in 2002, I remember thinking that 1/4 of me comes from him. I have his genes--I am who I am because of my parents and my grandparents and so many other family members who shaped me, both through nature and nurture. They care about me so much, and I'm so thankful that they got to meet Ella, and she got to meet them.
Today's blessing was the chance to do some stocking-stuffer shopping with my dad. Although I was definitely a "Daddy's Girl" when I was little (and butted heads with my mom), my relationship with both of my parents has changed over the years. My mom and I have gotten much closer, and while I still totally love and respect my dad so much, he was replaced as the #1 man in my life when I met my husband. I know that this is totally normal and appropriate, but it's still nice to have that sort of quality time with him.
It was really special for me to be able to share Ella with my grandparents. When me mom's father passed away in 2002, I remember thinking that 1/4 of me comes from him. I have his genes--I am who I am because of my parents and my grandparents and so many other family members who shaped me, both through nature and nurture. They care about me so much, and I'm so thankful that they got to meet Ella, and she got to meet them.
Today's blessing was the chance to do some stocking-stuffer shopping with my dad. Although I was definitely a "Daddy's Girl" when I was little (and butted heads with my mom), my relationship with both of my parents has changed over the years. My mom and I have gotten much closer, and while I still totally love and respect my dad so much, he was replaced as the #1 man in my life when I met my husband. I know that this is totally normal and appropriate, but it's still nice to have that sort of quality time with him.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Safe and Sound...and Spiders!
Well, we made it home to my parents' house, safe and sound, at 5:30 am. Believe it or not, it only took us one hour more than what the GPS had predicted. Not bad for traveling with an 11-week old infant! Ella--though not pleased to be locked in her carseat for so long--was a great trooper...for the most part.
My child is definitely NOT the type to fall fast asleep the moment the engine turns over. From the very first trip home from the hospital, she has never seemed to like the car (in fact, perhaps I should have had some sort of indication that this was going to be the case because she always kicked like crazy during my drives to and from work when I was pregnant with her). On our trip last night, she would cry for the first 3-5 minutes or so after getting her strapped into the carseat (actually, the crying usually started as we were strapping her in...as if she knew that we were about to start driving again). We aren't fans of the "cry it out" method at home (I admit that we tried it a handful of times and it broke our heart each time), but there's not too much that we can do while on a 14-hour road trip when we know that she is fed, clean, and warm. So whoever wasn't driving would sit in the back with her or reach over her carseat to stroke her cheek and offer her a pacifier (which she's not a huge fan of either...but sometimes works) and "shhh" or try whatever way possible to calm her. I don't know if it actually did her any good, but at least we were trying to comfort her in some way. Anyway, after about 3-5 minutes of "why the heck do I have to be strapped in here again?!?!" crying, she would tucker herself out and fall asleep until our next stop...where we would go through the whole routine again. I did feed her (from the boob) twice--once when we stopped for dinner, and once when we stopped for gas. Other than that, I pumped and she took a bottle beautifully despite being strapped in. (I do admit that while I refuse to jeopardize her safety to nurse her in my arms while driving--as convenient as it would be--the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I could find some way to lean over her carseat to offer her the boob...but I figured that wouldn't be safe either...especially since it rained pretty much the whole trip).
So like I said, we got home around 5:30 am this morning and Ella was so happy to be out of the carseat! It's like she somehow knew that we were home. The car stopped, she woke up without crying, and she gave us the biggest smiles and coos when we plopped her on the floor to stretch and play. And that's when my brother emerged out of the guest room...where I thought we would be staying. Turns out that he had planned on sleeping on the hide-a-bed in the family room at the back of the house, but when they opened it up, they found a happy little family of black widow spiders! (And my brother was kind enough to sleep on top of the blankets so that my husband I would still have clean sheets when we finally made it to bed). So my poor mom has been spraying and cleaning and laundering and vacuuming the back family room all day long to get rid of the spiders, and Ella is limited to the front of the house...not that it really makes any difference to her. I don't freak out about creepy crawly things that much...but the thought of them getting near Ella definitely gives me the goosebumps.
Aside from the spiders, it's really nice to be home. Ella and I went to church this morning while my husband caught up on some sleep (I drove for about five hours and he drove the rest), then came home and had a glorious nap. She's now playing happily with her grandparents, and I'm hoping that she'll be able to get a "normal" night of sleep tonight (which has been to wake up for a 3:30 am feeding these days...still not quite ready to sleep all the way through the night, though she got close a couple of times).
Today's blessing was sharing Ella with everyone at my parents' church. We moved here when I was seven, so these people have truly watched me and my brothers grow up. Knowing our history of loss, so many of them prayed fervently for me through my pregnancy, so it was such a blessing to share her with them.
My child is definitely NOT the type to fall fast asleep the moment the engine turns over. From the very first trip home from the hospital, she has never seemed to like the car (in fact, perhaps I should have had some sort of indication that this was going to be the case because she always kicked like crazy during my drives to and from work when I was pregnant with her). On our trip last night, she would cry for the first 3-5 minutes or so after getting her strapped into the carseat (actually, the crying usually started as we were strapping her in...as if she knew that we were about to start driving again). We aren't fans of the "cry it out" method at home (I admit that we tried it a handful of times and it broke our heart each time), but there's not too much that we can do while on a 14-hour road trip when we know that she is fed, clean, and warm. So whoever wasn't driving would sit in the back with her or reach over her carseat to stroke her cheek and offer her a pacifier (which she's not a huge fan of either...but sometimes works) and "shhh" or try whatever way possible to calm her. I don't know if it actually did her any good, but at least we were trying to comfort her in some way. Anyway, after about 3-5 minutes of "why the heck do I have to be strapped in here again?!?!" crying, she would tucker herself out and fall asleep until our next stop...where we would go through the whole routine again. I did feed her (from the boob) twice--once when we stopped for dinner, and once when we stopped for gas. Other than that, I pumped and she took a bottle beautifully despite being strapped in. (I do admit that while I refuse to jeopardize her safety to nurse her in my arms while driving--as convenient as it would be--the thought crossed my mind that perhaps I could find some way to lean over her carseat to offer her the boob...but I figured that wouldn't be safe either...especially since it rained pretty much the whole trip).
So like I said, we got home around 5:30 am this morning and Ella was so happy to be out of the carseat! It's like she somehow knew that we were home. The car stopped, she woke up without crying, and she gave us the biggest smiles and coos when we plopped her on the floor to stretch and play. And that's when my brother emerged out of the guest room...where I thought we would be staying. Turns out that he had planned on sleeping on the hide-a-bed in the family room at the back of the house, but when they opened it up, they found a happy little family of black widow spiders! (And my brother was kind enough to sleep on top of the blankets so that my husband I would still have clean sheets when we finally made it to bed). So my poor mom has been spraying and cleaning and laundering and vacuuming the back family room all day long to get rid of the spiders, and Ella is limited to the front of the house...not that it really makes any difference to her. I don't freak out about creepy crawly things that much...but the thought of them getting near Ella definitely gives me the goosebumps.
Aside from the spiders, it's really nice to be home. Ella and I went to church this morning while my husband caught up on some sleep (I drove for about five hours and he drove the rest), then came home and had a glorious nap. She's now playing happily with her grandparents, and I'm hoping that she'll be able to get a "normal" night of sleep tonight (which has been to wake up for a 3:30 am feeding these days...still not quite ready to sleep all the way through the night, though she got close a couple of times).
Today's blessing was sharing Ella with everyone at my parents' church. We moved here when I was seven, so these people have truly watched me and my brothers grow up. Knowing our history of loss, so many of them prayed fervently for me through my pregnancy, so it was such a blessing to share her with them.
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