Well, Tuesday was the start of another cycle. I was a little sad, but ultimately I was pleased that it was a 35-day cycle. In fact, it pretty much showed up just as I was expecting--which made me feel nearly normal for the first time in months.
I didn't despair when it showed up, but I do admit that I started doing some mental calculations to figure out what my due date would be if I were to somehow conceive during this new cycle. Late May? Early June? That could work, professionally-speaking.
Part of my job includes coordinating a big admission process for selecting the students who are eligible to enter our major each semester, meaning that I'm pretty busy at work from late-August to mid-May. My supervisors are very supportive and totally accommodating, but let's just say that they would be beyond thrilled if I were to be so blessed as to take maternity leave over our slower summer season so that I could continue with my regular projects.
Yes, I'm completely aware that it's rather silly to try to plan like this when you have a history like I do. And I would be happy to conceive and give birthday at any time during the year! But one of my strengths is my sense of "responsibility", so I can't help but think of these kinds of things.
I know this is all wishful thinking. I know that I'm totally getting ahead of myself. And ultimately I know that my sense of timing is nowhere near as perfect at God's. And so I wait and pray and hope that I might someday understand His plan for our lives.
Yesterday's blessing was learning that my very-dear friend's baby boy was born just two days shy of his due date and appears to be perfectly healthy. You may remember that she was exposed to congenital CMV during her pregnancy, so they were really worried that he might have complications. But praise God, the tests have come back normal! I'm hoping to visit them in December, and it's breaking my heart that I can't go sooner!
So happy to hear about your friends baby! Thanks for updating us on him.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you are at CD1 again. And I don't know one of us who doesn't try to figure out our EDD every time a new cycle starts. And nothing is wrong w/wishful thinking.
I am with Dawn! Happy for your friend, and have to say I think it is COMPLETELY normal for a woman who is ttc to look at when her potential due date would be with each new cycle. Wishful thinking and hopes are what keep ttc couples able to persevere on!
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