Normal. Ideal. Regular. Textbook. Perfect.
Call it what you will, I just experienced my first normal, ideal, regular, textbook, perfect 28-day cycle! I don't know if I've ever in my entire life had a normal, ideal, regular, textbook, perfect 28-day cycle!
Okay, so I admit that when I started spotting yesterday, on day 28 of what I was expecting to again be a 35-day cycle--with which I was "happy enough" because it had at least been consistent for two consecutive months--I was hoping that it was implantation bleeding instead of the start of a new cycle. And I admit that I do still wish that I were pregnant, but this is definitely the next best thing.
I also admit that, like so many of us who have struggled with in/fertility, a little bit of doubt and worry starts creeping in, despite my relief to be joining of the "normal cycle" crowd. Thoughts like--what if my cycle was shorter than I expected because there is something wrong with my luteal phase? Or--we have now been trying for nine months...what if I'm facing secondary infertility?
I trust God has a perfect plan for our lives. I keep on reminding myself that this is my opportunity to enjoy my time with just Ella and my husband, and I want to spend my time being happy with her, instead of being saddened by what I don't yet have. And her kisses and hugs and giggles sure help to restore my joy and remind me over and over again just how blessed I am to have her in my life.
Today's blessing was getting an early birthday package from my grandparents in the mail, which included my grandma's chocolate chip cookies. She swears she just "follows the recipe of the back of the bag and adds a little extra flour", but there's something so amazing about my grandma's cookies. Although I'm going to try really hard to resist the temptation (I attribute part of my 28-day cycle success to eating and exorcising better this month), the smell alone brings back great memories. I'm so glad that Ella now gets the chance to enjoy my grandma's--her great-grandma's--cookies.