Sunday, April 1, 2012

If Only It Were That Easy

I have another colleague in my office who I just learned is pregnant.  As we were chatting around the lunch table about all the babies that our office has experienced over the last couple of years (five births since 2008, with two more on the way in Fall), she had the audacity to say "must be something in the water".  Sure, I get that it was intended as a joke, but you and I both know that it's clearly not that easy.  And so without making too big of a scene, I said so.

I realize that pregnancies might come really easily for some, and they might even feel like it's okay to joke about it.  But for me, pregnancy is a beautiful and delicate thing that could come and go so quickly.  It's a special and sacred time--one that is full of wonder and awe, and yet also has a bit of worry and fear attached to it.  Perhaps I would feel different if it were as easy for us as drinking the office water, but our history has shaped us.

I have a good news-bad news sort of update on our attempts at "hoping to conceive" a sibling for Ella. The good news is that my cycle showed up at 36 days, so shorter than the previous month.  But the bad news (if you can really call it that) is that it did indeed show up, despite some pretty well-timed anniversary celebrations.  I'm a little sad, but ultimately, I'm pleased that my cycle is becoming more "regular", so that's what I'm going to focus on.

 Today's blessing was the chance to snuggle with Ella a bit as she went down for her nap.  The poor girl played hard all morning, and then started falling asleep in her high chair during lunch, with her little head bobbing everywhere.  She will often fight going down for a nap, but this time, she was all cuddles as I lay her down.  She's turning into such a sweet girl.


  1. I'm sorry this was not your month. But you are doing great job at looking at the positive side with your cycle. I can't even imagine looking at pregnancy like others do. Good for you for speaking up.

  2. Even though I have Avalyn and I wouldnt change our infertility for anything, pregnancy announcements from those who hardly try still sting.

    Sorry this month didnt work out. Glad they cycles are going more regular though. Best wishes next month!

  3. I've heard "it must be something in the water" so many times this past month. It makes me want to scream and punch people. But I don't. As usual. I just give a weak smile and don't agree with them.

  4. Augh. I'm glad you were able to say something in response to that comment. While I know it can be a little awkward to do so sometimes, people need to know that there are others out there who don't come by pregnancy so easily - and that we have wished countless times that it were as simple as something in the water cuz we'd drinking it by the gallon. How about this: I saw two April Fool's pregnancy jokes on FB yesterday, and one was from a fellow infertile. I couldn't believe it! I had to immediately exit FB to keep myself from saying something I might regret.

    I hope your cycle keeps getting itself back on track.

  5. Sorry to hear that it showed up but glad to hear that the cycle was regular. And fingers crossed that it won't be showing up in the very near future.


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