Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Nothing to Lose

I shared yesterday that my temperature had dropped...and sure enough, my cycle started shortly thereafter.  So, it doesn't look like this is the month for us either.  And since my husband is still in Africa and won't get back until mid-November, I'm going to guess that there won't be any conceptions in the next cycle either.  I trust God has a plan, and although I sure wish I were pregnant, I have nothing to lose.

Perhaps it's backwards-thinking to focus on the fact that I cannot miscarry this month rather than on the simple truth that I'm not pregnant.  But I've begged God to not let me miscarry again. Although we're definitely "trying", I'd rather not conceive than suffer another loss.  So if I didn't conceive this month (despite the trying), I trust that God is intervening.

Today's blessing was a nice conversation with my sister-in-law, who I love dearly.  She's been struggling with some health issues, and it seems like they are under control at this point (though she did spend most of Monday in the emergency room).  She suffered the loss of her first baby too, so gets me when I need to vent.  I've always wanted a sister, so I recognize that Im really blessed to have such an amazing and fun person in our family now.

2 comments:

  1. Laura I'm so sorry this was not your month, but I really admire your positive outlook. Like you I try to remind myself that I asked God to only allow me to be pregnant if I could carry the baby to term. So each month I'm not, I just assume He's answering my prayers.

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  2. it's like I could've written this post myself..I too would rather not conceive again over another loss - i don't know how many times my heart can survive breaking like that..I hope you have been doing well with your hubby away in your own version of project:Me :)

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