Sunday, May 8, 2011

Range of Emotions

This day--Mother's Day--has elicited a wide range of emotions over the last couple of years.

2007--my husband and I had just gotten married two months prior, I was still on birth control, but I was hopeful that I would someday be a mother.

2008--after trying for almost a year, I was starting to get a bit frustrated and started to fear I would never be a mother.

2009--by this point, I had suffered two losses, but was pregnant again on Mother's Day with what would be my third loss.  I oscillated between wanting to celebrate and feeling like I had to demonstrate caution.  Furthermore, I identified with being a "mother", even if no one else recognized my status. 

2010--again, I was pregnant on Mother's Day--but this time with a heartbeat and a bump to show for it.  Finally, the world was starting to recognize me as a something I felt I was since first learning I was pregnant the first time around.  Finally, the day was barely--just barely--starting to become "sweet", and not only "bittersweet".

And now, here in 2011, I have my Ella.  I woke up this morning feeling the same way I do on Christmas or my birthday.  I have waited and waited for this day for so long, and now that it's here, I couldn't be happier.  God is so good in making me a mom, and teaching me so much in the process.

I know that today is hard for so many, as it has been for me in the past.  For those women who are still waiting with empty arms, I pray that God surround you with His comfort as He continues to prepare you for the journey which you are on. 

Today's blessing is being able to celebrate finally being a mom.  I know that Ella is truly a gift from God.

1 comment:

  1. And you are a good mom. . . I love you, and Ella, both.


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