Unless things really pick up here in the next five hours, it looks like I better start embracing the idea of an August baby (and its not-as-pretty birthstone). I guess it just wasn't mean to be to have a July baby, as I was secretly hoping. And really, I know that this is better, in the long run. As my very-dear friend, the pediatrician, was quick to point out--she's much safer on the inside than on the outside--even at 39 weeks.
I had an appointment today, and I am pleased to share that I was in and out of there within 20 minutes, which was considerably quicker than my last appointment when I spent five hours at the hospital between my check-up and monitoring. My doctor is actually out of town this week, so I saw the midwife and a student (it's a teaching hospital, and I truly value education, so I welcome the students at nearly every opportunity--though I will ask to not have a student this time if I end up getting an epidural again). My doctor was okay with me declining a "check" last week (since I had absolutely no indication that she was going to make an appearance), but I agreed to let the midwife do it this week (even though I still had no indication that she was going to make an appearance--but figured that we're now one week closer...and was secretly hoping that it may somehow trigger labor). The word she used was "shallow"--as in, I'm 80% effaced. I'll take that! I have been having a lot of completely painless Braxton-Hicks contractions (I really just feel tightening, but no pain...which is "nice", I guess), and they're apparently doing something. On the other hand, I'm only 1 cm dilated (I was hoping for more), but hey--it's a start.
I feel ready--emotionally, physically, and even at work. I'll keep on working up to whenever she arrives, but I feel like I have all my projects and responsibilities in a good place. If she came tonight, I'd be perfectly happy leaving the couple of little papers on my desk.
Until she comes, I'm going to try to cherish these last few days (perhaps hours?!) with just Ella.
Today's blessing is simply feeling excited about meeting this baby. I told my very-dear friend that I was "nearly giddy". It's just so different this time around! Don't get me wrong--I was extremely excited to meet Ella, but I was just so unsure of what to expect! I recognize things are going to be totally different, but it's all at a whole new level of excitement.