So I get back to Arizona after not seeing my husband for a week, and what do you expect happens? I start my period right away.
I'm going through a mixture of emotions. I'm somewhat relieved--we weren't supposed to be trying again until I had another regular cycle, but we also hadn't been using any protection, so it's probably good that I'm not pregnant already. Then again, I'm somewhat disappointed--it's so tempting to want to be pregnant again, so I kind of wished that an "oops" had happened. I'm somewhat anxious--I can't help but start counting down the days until I think I'll ovulate...and with a "perfect cycle", I'll probably be flying out to visit a friend in Southern California without my husband. I'm somewhat scared--I worry that I will start obsessing again. But I think, overall, I'm mostly "pleased"--this was about a 5 week cycle, but given that this was following a miscarriage and it takes a body a bit more time to get back to normal after a loss, I'll take it.
So here we are, back in the "trying mode". But like I said previously, I don't want to become consumed with trying. I'm going to try to not to obsess about everything. I'm going to resist that urge to ruin the mood by saying "Honey, I think I'm ovulating" before getting into bed; and rather, simply just enjoy each other.
I'm blessed to have had a great visit with my family (including an amazing day at the spa with my mom and Sister-in-Law on Monday); but I'm also blessed to be back home with my husband...who tells me that I'm more comfortable to cuddle with than a pillow.