Sunday, July 12, 2009


There are certain dates of significance that stand out to me like mile-markers on this journey of TTC. Of course, there are the three days of loss--my husband's birthday, Valentine's day, and then most recently on June 6th. But then there's today--July 12th. I don't know why today sticks out in my mind so clearly--it probably wouldn't for anyone who has had a "normal" pregnancy. But one year ago today, I ovulated for the first time in seven months and conceived our first child. I know, becuase I was obsessively tracking my BBT.

I think this date is significant for two conflicting reasons. First, it was a sign that we could get pregnant on our own--a great source of joy. And second, it marks of year in which we suffered through three miscarriages--a great source of sadness.

Mid-July 2007 (when I went off birth control) through July 11, 2008 was a year of frustration over my crazy cycle (or lack thereof). July 12, 2008 through today was a year of some major peaks and valleys. While I never want to forget the lives of my three lost babies, I sincerely hope and pray that we can move on from this year. This process has been slower than what I would have hoped for, but perhaps the joy will outweigh the sadness this year.

As for blessings, I've been so blessed on this trip home to visit some people who are so dear to me. I'm staying with my parents, but also got to spend some quality time with my brothers and my sister-in-law. I went up towards Tahoe to visit my grandma on Friday with my mom, and then headed the opposite direction to the Bay Area with my parents today to visit my grandparents. On Saturday, my parents left me all alone while they attended a wedding, so I had the chance to visit with a couple from church who have been a such a support to us and have prayed for us through our journey. It may be a sleepy little farming town, but there are so many people here who really do love me and encourage me. And for that, I'm extremely blessed.

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