Top Ten Reasons

I believe that I "should" be ovulating soon (at least from what I can tell so far).  As I look forward to what the rest of the week has in store, I admit that my mind has wandered to how great it would be to get pregnant this month.  Here are my top ten reasons:

10.  Since my husband was out of the country, we didn't get a chance to try last month when I felt like I was ready...so now I feel really ready.
9.  I feel like I am slowly but surely learning what it truly means to be patient and wait on God.
8.  I may be learning patience...but after saying goodbye to four babies last year (between me and my sister-in-law), I know that my parents are anxious to be grandparents, and I want so badly to bless them in that way.
7.  It would be the best Christmas present ever for both me and my husband to get a positive test days before celebrating Christ's birth.
6.  As for work, the Spring semester is so much less stressful than the Fall semester, so it would be a good time to experience the caution and concerns of getting through the First Trimester (then I would gladly suffer through the heat of summer).
5.  Physically--I'm the healthiest that I've been in years.
4.  Emotionally and spiritually--I'm the healthiest I've been in years.
3.  My grandparents are starting to experience health concerns, and I want more than anything for them to be able to meet their great-grandchild.
2.  My most recent loss would have been due in mid-December--it would feel really fitting to close that chapter on loss and open a new chapter on hope around that time.
1.  My birthday is three days before my mom's, and my brothers' (remember--they have the same birthday) birthdays are three days before my dad's...and my husband's birthday is in September--so to keep with the tradition, it would be amazing to have a baby three day before my husband's birthday.

I feel kind of selfish--but this is honestly what's going through my head right now.  Ultimately, I know that it is all in God's hands.  A lot of the verses in Proverbs 16 have really been resonating with me lately, especially verse 9:

"In his heart a man plans his course,

but the Lord determines his steps."

I admit that in my heart and in my mind, I've planned it all out.  But how reassuring to know that even if/when things don't go according to my plan, the Lord truly knows each of my steps.  I need to trust that He'll continue to be there with me, whether or not this is our month.

Please pray for us.  As much as I want to be pregnant, I still am praying that we only conceive if we're able to carry to full term--again, feeling kind of selfish with my specific prayers.  If it doesn't happen for us this month, please pray for peace and comfort and understanding. 

Today's blessing was finishing teaching my class, and grading some of the reflection projects that the students submitted.  It was really great to read about all of the things that they had learned this semester, and to know that I was able to make an impact on their first year of college.  It's just a 1-credit success class, but I really hope that they were able to gain something from the course.