- Buy maternity clothes?
- Start your baby registry?
- Purchase furniture for the nursery?
- Decide on a name?
- Schedule your baby shower?
- Make your first "personal purchase" for your baby?
- Begin to decorate the nursery?
- Plan your Lamaze/breastfeeding/parenting classes?
I think a lot of it comes down to recognizing that my sister-in-law lost her son at 30 weeks. She and I talked about her experience recently, which I think was good for both of us. After her experience, she is a bit cautious. After my own experience and witnessing her late loss, I too am a bit cautious. When I first looked (just looked...did not purchase or even order a sample) at bedding, her gut reaction was "Wow! That's so soon!". And I can't help but agree with her--it was scary to give my heart the chance to fall in love with the design (which is why I still haven't purchased it and continue to put off ordering a $3 sample). And yet, the various websites seem to suggest that you should at least order your furniture by 22 weeks, if nothing else.
And so we did. Yesterday. We looked on Wednesday after our appointment while my husband was in town with me, and it turns out that there was a 20% off sale through Thursday. So he went back on Thursday and made the purchase. (Eek!) I'm mostly excited. I want this to happen! I'm ready for this to happen! I hope that he'll spend the long weekend moving furniture for me so as to prepare the room that will serve as our nursery. But I have to admit that part of me is still afraid of losing our baby girl and then being stuck with a room full of beautiful nursery furniture. I know that I shouldn't think this way. I know that my sister-in-law's late loss was a freak accident that does not typically happen, and I shouldn't let that hold us back. I should move forward as if this really is happening...as if we truly will bring a beautiful baby girl home with us in September. All I can do is take it one day at a time...which still leaves me wondering...when? Which day (or week or month) is the "right" time to take these steps? I really am curious to hear what sort of timeline others have followed.
Although I admit that I was anxious about buying the furniture, I still recognize that it was a blessing that my husband felt ready to make the purchase. He is wonderful about how he manages our money, so he didn't have any qualms about the price. Yes, I'm still rather frugal (it's okay--you can call me "cheap"--I don't mind), but I am also very blessed that he is so careful with where our money goes.
I had no choice but to buy maternity clothes early at about 10 weeks. My small stature did not make it easy to hide the pregnancy for the first tri and maternity clothes were the only way. Other than that I made a leap of faith at week 13 and bought her first outfit with my mom and sis. I allowed myself that much. Not until the 20 week u/s did I acknowledge baby girl in any other way. Between 20-25 weeks is when we decided on and ordered the furniture, painted her room and scheduled the baby showers (& registered). As for the birthing class they are anywhere from 6-10 weeks long and want you to be finished by 34-35 weeks so you should really start looking into that soon.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel and I struggled as well, but I realized even with this "stuff" if the Lord took our baby girl it wouldn't change the joy we have/had while she was/is with us. I hope this helps!
Oh I completely understand how you feel. And your extra losses and your SIL's late loss must make it even worse than how I felt. I think once we had the gender/anatomy scan I made up my mind that this baby would be in our arms dangit! Of course I still worry... it will probably never completely go away. Anyway, here's my timeline:
ReplyDeleteMaternity clothes: geez, like 12 weeks or so because my pants were too tight and I hated the belly bands.
Registry: We just did it about a month ago maybe so like 28-ish weeks? I did it more to keep track for myself. Probably no one will use it.
Furniture: It was about 22 weeks. We took the same advice you did but it was available right away and we didn't have to order it. It really freaked me out because that was the first BIG purchase.
Decide on a name: Ha. Who knows when we did or if we have! (I think you've seen my latest post!)
Baby shower: Unfortunately I'm not having one. :( Hardly any friends/family here in AZ.
Personal purchase: We had to go buy something pink right after the anatomy scan at 18 weeks!
Decorate: About 30 weeks although it has completely stalled out. Too much going on in May.
Classes: Took CPR, baby care and breastfeeding all in April so that was between 26-29 weeks. I would have taken them all in May but I was too busy. Childbirth prep is first weekend in June (34 wks) but I would have also done that in May if I could have.
Just remember, if GOD FORBID something goes wrong you will not be less sad if you hadn't done these things. Although I understand what you mean about having the reminders around the house. But it doesn't matter because your precious daughter will need them in September!
Buy maternity clothes? I never really did; took advantage of gouchos and the hot weather worked in my favor. Summer pregnancies allow to use elastic waistbands but still be stylish :)
ReplyDeleteStart your baby registry? a couple weeks before my shower
Purchase furniture for the nursery? Maybe around 28-30 weeks...?
Decide on a name? This seemed to take FOREVER. I think I was ~30 weeks. I would have liked to choose one sooner but it's sooo hard for us! (as you know :)
Schedule your baby shower? I think we talked about it when I was 8 weeks from due date, had the shower 6 weeks from due date
Make your first "personal purchase" for your baby? Not even sure I ever really did this...
Begin to decorate the nursery? after purchasing furniture
Plan your Lamaze/breastfeeding/parenting classes? Enrolled when I was about 33 weeks
Do whatever you are comfortable with! There is no "magic number" as to what should be done when! As long as things happen before baby, you are good :) Enjoy this special time!
Not much help here on the questions, but I can't wait to see pics of the nursery! Praying God helps ease your anxious thoughts. :)
ReplyDelete* Buy maternity clothes?
ReplyDeleteI have already purchased my capri's and shorts (2 each) for summer because there's only one store here and their sizes go quick.
* Start your baby registry?
I think I'll do that once I have my 20 week ultrasound.
* Purchase furniture for the nursery?
I purchased my furniture when I was 16 weeks pregnant with Zachary, there was a great sale and it was a super deal. Looking back maybe I should have waited, but honestly there's no way to know that things are going to turn out badly. It was my first pregnancy and I had no idea of the risks. If I had to buy furniture now, I'd wait till my 20 week scan was done.
* Decide on a name?
My husband and I have had a boy name in our head for years so that's an easy one. If it's a girl we'll decide once we find out the sex.
* Schedule your baby shower?
I'm due in December, so I'll most likely have a shower back home with my family in late October, and one here with friends and husband's family in mid November.
* Make your first "personal purchase" for your baby?
After my 20 week scan.
* Begin to decorate the nursery?
Mid third trimester...afraid to set up too soon, just in case something goes wrong.
* Plan your Lamaze/breastfeeding/parenting classes
Start of my third trimester...don't want to take them too soon and forget what they said :)
I can understand how scary it must be to think about this stuff, and to wonder when you can safely start to plan/buy things. But I think it's great that you went ahead and bought that furniture.
ReplyDeleteThank you SO VERY MUCH for your comments on my blog. It's stories like yours that give me hope.
Hi Laura! I did get your message and thank you so much for your support. Same here! You have been in my daily prayers. I know how scary it is to take the plunge. But as for maternity clothes, I wasn't able to fit my bottoms. And right now it's all about comfort. As for the baby room, the last thing I want to do is stress. I have full faith in God's plans and I hope you can enjoy the pregnancy regardless of your fears. Fears only create stress which cannot be any good for the baby. So, I hope your butterfly theme will keep you preoccupied with positive thoughts and the hopes of a blossoming baby in the months to come. Keep the faith strong! =)
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to be enjoying your pregnancy... at least, thats what I keep trying to tell myself too. I know we talked about this when we got together, but I just keep thinking of my mom's words... "You WILL be a mother" Yes, bad things happen. But no matter what, regardless of its now or later (and it's going to be NOW!), you will be putting out that bedding for your child.
ReplyDelete