After a few stops to visit one brother at work and then dinner with the other brother to meet his new girlfriend, I made it home to my parent's home late last night, safe and sound. It's wonderful to see my parents...although the word that my mom used when she saw my stomach was "freaky" (I don't know quite what to make of that...but I'll let it slide).
Last night, I went to bed thinking that perhaps maybe it's time to share our news on facebook. I'm 31 weeks, and the Baby Shower is tomorrow. I'll be seeing friends and family that I haven't seen in a while, and I could just see someone saying something on facebook, and I figured that I'd rather be the one to have some sort of "control" over the delivery of the news. So early this morning, I posted in a note what I had previously proposed.
And then--I'm not going to lie--I freaked out a little bit.
I feel 100% totally vulnerable. All the pain and the frustration and our joy and excitement and lingering fears are out there for all of my friends and family. I know that I could have taken the easy way out and either a) completely avoided the whole topic altogether, or b) simply said "We're pregnant!"...but I wanted something more from it. I wanted to be able to acknowledge our experience and our losses and our growth through the journey, but I also wanted to acknowledge that I'm not the only one to face these battles. I wanted to be able to be sensitive and supportive of others who may be facing the same struggles we faced. And I guess it was fitting that the first person to acknowledge the note, moments after I posted it, was my friend and former colleague who has already experienced one loss and is anxiously awaiting an ultrasound today that will likely determine the next steps that she and her husband will take in starting a family.
I really appreciate all of your feedback and encouragement in helping me decide whether or not to "come out" in that venue. I opted not to share my blog, as I think I want to keep the two seperate (and really, I don't think I want any of my former male colleagues reading about my various bodily functions). I just pray that God use our news and our story in a positive way, and that my note touch the hearts of those who read it. It's scary to share, and yet, I feel like it is the right thing to do.
Today's blessing is the chance to go shopping with my mom this afternoon. I would like to find another pair or two of maternity pants to get me through the next two months--especially since school will be starting back up soon and I feel like I should dress up at least a little bit more than I have been this summer. And I'm also hoping to find the "perfect" outfit in which to bring our Baby Girl home from the hospital. Aside from the furniture and paint for the nursery, I haven't bought anything for her yet (but I would imagine that when I do...the flood gates will open wide!).