I'm also struggling with a comment that a friend made--not in a way to hurt me, but in a way that totally rang true. This friend was going in for surgery to have her gall bladder removed, and sent some of us closer friends an email about the upcoming procedure, in which she said something along the lines of "not telling you feels kind of like lying about it". This wasn't directed at me by any means, and yet the element of truth stung a bit, and her comment has stayed with me. I don't want it to seem like I'm "hiding" my pregnancy, and I most definitely don't want it to appear that I'm "lying" about it.
And so...I'm reconsidering my decision not to acknowledge my pregnancy on facebook. But if and when I do "come out" (I still haven't decided on either the "if" or "when"), I want to do so in a way that a) is sensitive to others who may be struggling, b) acknowledges our journey, and c) expresses our sincere joy in how God has blessed us. I still don't think I feel comfortable posting belly pictures or ultrasound images, and I doubt that I'll post any sort of "countdowns" or even a "we're headed to the hospital" type of status update, but I'm thinking of just adding a "note"--something that will give me enough space to share what's on my heart...and people can read it if they want, or just move on along. (And yes, I totally realize that I'm probably making a bigger deal out of this than the rest of the world...but to me, it is a big deal to share my love for this Baby Girl, and our story is so much more than a simple "We're pregnant!" announcement).
So listed below is what I'm thinking of posting--if and when it feels right (or if and when I get up the nerve). Before crossing those if and when bridges, I'd love to get your feedback (like I said from the beginning--the whole reason behind not ever saying on facebook was to avoid inflicting pain), so please feel free to share your reactions. Here goes:
This could possibly be the most significant piece of personal information that I've ever shared in this format, and yet I recognize that it has the potential to invoke a variety of reactions. I know--because I've been the one to read these sorts of announcements time and time again--sometimes with joy, sometimes with a heavy heart, sometimes with mixed emotions. But this is my first real opportunity to be the one to actually write the words "We're pregnant!", and share the news that we are expecting a Baby Girl in September.
This has been a long and challenging journey for us, and I still struggle to find the right words to share it in this venue. And yet, I feel compelled to acknowledge our experience. After marrying Doug in March 2007, our first three pregnancies ended in loss, thus forever changing us as individuals and as a couple. Nothing can fill the ache of losing a child, and yet we have been blessed with friends, family, and each other to help us through those times. And now, we are abundantly blessed as we look forward to the arrival of our Baby Girl.
I recognize that most of you probably had no idea of the struggles that we experienced, just as I may not know of the challenges that you may be facing in your lives. I'm accutely aware that while our announcement fills many with joy, it could also cause pain for others who face similar struggles. If you are hurting, please know that I've been there too, and I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.
As we approach our due date in late September, please continue to pray for us as we eagerly anticipate the adventures of parenthood and welcoming our Baby Girl to our family.
Whew! That was harder than I thought to come up with the "right words"...and I don't even know if they are the "right words". Too long? Too raw? Too revealing? Not revealing enough? I find myself trying to separate my "blog-voice" from my "facebook-voice"--I need to remember that it's two entirely different communities, and I don't know if I blurred the lines too much. Please let me know what you think. Take your time--I'm in no immediate rush (and don't be too surprised if I chicken out).
Yesterday's blessing was feeling a sense of accomplishment at work as I got through the overwhelming majority of the emails I missed from our week of vacation. Yes, perhaps it was silly of me to hurry back from vacation for one day of work, but I had an afternoon commitment that I wanted to be able to fulfill; and I left with a good feeling that I can approach Monday without the dread of nearly 100 emails hanging over my head.