Monday, March 15, 2010

New Sense of Hope

A couple of months ago, I shared that I was feeling "hope-less" but "faith-ful".  These emotions were based on traditional definitions* of the words "hope" and "faith":

Hope: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
Faith:  confidence or trust in a person or thing or belief that is not based on proof

A lot has changed since I found those definitions.  Obviously, I'm currently pregnant with what appears to be a so-far-so-good pregnancy, so I recognize that simple fact alone changes everything.  Each of the previous ultrasounds helped to fortify that little glimmer of hope.  But more importantly, I feel that my faith--which I was already relying on when I shared that post--has also grown deeper and more genuine.  It's one thing to proclaim "I trust God"...but it's actually really pretty hard to do so day in and day out.  This pregnancy has helped me to more vividly "walk the walk".

I think that my tipping point for actually feeling hopeful came the other day while reading Isaiah 40:31.  Many of you may know this as the "eagle verse".  It's a popular verse, so I definitely recognize the words from from countless inspirational images of eagles and an old hymn.  I can distinctly remember humming the tune at church camp as a kid.  But the words that I remember were:

"They that wait upon the Lord
will renew their strength.
They shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run and not grow weary,
they shall walk and not faint.
Teach me Lord, teach me Lord to wait."

As you can see, the word "hope" is actually nowhere in this version of the song.  At the time, the word "wait" stood out to me, in terms of how I should base my behavior and attitudes (which is also significant...since I'm not often a patient person).  But when I got to this verse in my daily bible study time, the words were familiar...but something was totally different in my NIV translation:

"But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

I love the idea of hoping in the Lord!  In all my years, I had never thought of the significance of "hope" in the verse because my mind always reverted back to the "wait" version of the song.  But as I reflect on that verse, and as I look forward to our 12-week appointment on Wednesday, I think I'm actually starting to feel "hope-ful".  Please pray that I continue to experience this new sense of hope throughout the remaining 28 weeks of this pregnancy.

Yesterday's blessing was a new vacuum cleaner...and more importantly, my wonderful husband who bought it for me.  His parents drove down to visit us (from Montana to Arizona), and of course my vacuum cleaner died about three hours before they were scheduled to arrive (blowing nasty black smoke into the house in the process...luckily the cheesecake was still in the oven at the time).  My husband had all kinds of projects that he wanted to work on before their arrival, but hopped in the car with the busted roller in one hand and a $15-off coupon in the other, vowing to either fix it or bring me a new one within the hour.  No complaints about his schedule...no double-checking the budget...he saw what was needed and jumped into action.  So now I'm blessed with a new vacuum, a clean house, happy in-laws, and a hero husband.

* definitions according to dictionary.com

6 comments:

  1. Yea for a wonderful husband, and a new vacuum! That happend to me too, why is it that they always break right before the in-laws come...

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  2. What a great change of thinking. Praying you will keep this feeling of hope alive throughout your pregnancy.

    I just started my own infertility blog it you'd like to come along for the ride!

    http://teseivf.blogspot.com/

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  3. Great to see that you have reached this new sense of hope Laura. I pray that you will continue feeling this way for the next 28 weeks to come ;)

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  4. Isn't that verse just wonderful?? I leaned on it a lot while struggling with the losses and the time in between. I am so happy that you are becoming more hopeful and all is going well with you! Continued prayers for you and your hubby.

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  5. Way to go, Doug!

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  6. Written in the margin of my Bible at Isaiah 40 is this equation: HOPE = Holding On, Praying Expectantly!
    Interestingly, this Sunday I am preaching on Psalm 130 which includes these lines: "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning."
    I am praying for you and your baby as you hope and wait!
    Love, Dad

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