Friday, March 12, 2010

Tell Me That Wouldn't Happen

I had a horrible dream last night.  I'll spare the details--I don't want to relive them by typing them out, and I don't want you to be burdened by the image--but it involved another loss.  The fear was vivid enough to wake me up.

I immediately prayed that God would remove the images and the fear from my heart...then my mind started to try to rationalize the dream.  In the dream, I had walked barefoot into the public bathroom at work.  There is absolutely no way that I would walk barefoot into a public bathroom.  Sure, I use my bathroom at home barefoot all of the time...and I may even kick my shoes off in my own little office.  But I would never walk around our office hallways barefoot...let alone go into the bathroom sans shoes.

So I woke up my husband, at 4:30 a.m., to have him give me some reassurance and tell me that wouldn't happen.  He was totally asleep, but agreed that I would never go into the bathroom barefoot.  He sweetly cuddled me the rest of the night.

I'm really trying to move on from this dream and not give it too much credit.  From a biblical viewpoint, I know that God sometimes uses dreams to tell us something.  But from a psychological viewpoint, I also understand that dreams are often a manifestation of our subconcious.  I fully recognize that my subconcious is still full of all kinds of fears.  I trust that God is doing amazing things in my life, and I believe that He truly has a plan for me.  But I'm acutely aware of the fragility of life...and that legitimately scares me.

Please pray for my peace of mind--especially at night.  Pray that God protect and guard this baby, and that He protect and guard my heart and my dreams.

Today's blessing is simply that it's Friday.  After traveling for the conference last week, I feel like it took everything out of me to get caught up this week.  I worked late on Wednesday and Thursday...and I hope to be able to leave a little bit early today.  I'm looking forward to the weekend.


  1. Praying for your peace at night! As you know I had a bad dream last night too! Stay positive and continue to remind yourself that God has a plan for you. He put this little person in your life for a reason and i'm praying that reason is for you to hold that little life in your arms soon! Hugs to you!

  2. I've had all kinds of dreams about miscarraiges and I'm still going strong! You will, too.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  3. I hate those dreams! I'm sure its just sub-conscious fears, and now that you've faced them in your dreams you can move forward. :-)

  4. I'm so sorry about that scary dream! Sometimes my dreams seem so real it takes me a while to shake out of it too. Although last night I had an odd dream about a giant cockroach in my kitchen sink and I could not 'drown' it for the life it me it just kept scurrying around- what the heck right? (It's probably b/c just before I went to bed, I spotted a big spider downstairs and screamed for DH to come and kill it) yes, that's it.

    I will keep praying for your peace of mind and heart and that you will feel comforted at night, when you're lying awake or when you're dreaming. Enjoy your weekend!

  5. I had so many terrible dreams my first trimester and they were always so graphic. When I would wake up I would be so relieved, but then the bad feeling stayed with me all day. It didn't matter how often I would remind myslef that it was just a dream. The only time I tend to have these types of dreams now is when hubby is out of town. Praying that you were able to find some peace today and get out of work early like you had hoped.


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