Yesterday I received a call from one of our faculty members, calling on behalf of an family-friend incoming student. We try to keep up a good relationship with our faculty, so I took the call, and helped out as much as I could. In closing, the faculty member commented that she would encourage the student to keep in touch with me throughout the semester, at which point I shared that it was a good idea to stay in touch with someone in our office--but that I would actually be on maternity leave for the second half of the semester.
At this news, she just sighed and said "Oh dear...did you catch the epidemic too?"--referring to how three other women in our office have given birth in the last two years. (Really? Three babies in two years--I wouldn't quite call that an epidemic.) She went on to say something else about how no one should attempt to drink the water in our office. (If only it were that easy, right?)
I couldn't bring myself to correct her. I wish I could, but I don't have that sort of relationship with her. So I simply shared, as sweetly as I could, that we are excited and blessed to welcome this Baby Girl into our lives.
This wasn't the first time that someone commented so flippantly on the fertility of our office, or of others in our college. Perhaps on the surface, it does appear that we are just popping out babies left and right, but very few know the anguish that I--or others--have experienced. Should I have said something? And if so...what?
Today's blessing was the chance to sleep in a tiny bit, and then wake up to a beautiful rainbow outside our bedroom window. My husband has to work today, so I have the chance to work on the nursery a bit. It's my last lazy weekend before things pick up with the return to school, so I hope to find a good balance between working around the house and relaxing.
People say thougtless things all the time. You handled it with such grace.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see pics of the nursery.
I might have said something along the lines of, "Well, we feel especially blessed and excited because this is our fourth pregnancy but will be our first live baby." That might have shut her up.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel like if you don't say something to people, they'll continue to make thoughtless remarks and could perhaps hurt someone else in the future. It is a delicate balance between educating and just wanting to b-slap them, though! I think you have to listen to the moment and think about if it is the right time to share. It is hard to always know...