Yesterday afternoon, I was saddened to see a facebook post from my former hair-dresser and the wife of our music director for my church back home that they had lost their baby. It was a "surprise" type of pregnancy--they have three children ages 16, 14, and 9, and she found out she was pregnant just days before her 40th birthday--but I doubt it makes it any easier to cope with the loss. I read the news with Ella snuggled up against me in her carrier, all warm and cozy and precious, and yet my heart still broke as the familiar pain of loss crept in.
I realize that my hormones are still a little on the whacky side, so I'm "allowed" to get extra emotional, but I was a little shocked at how sad I was--for them, for my own losses, and for so many others who have experienced loss. I guess part of my reaction is because this was my first exposure to loss since the birth of Ella. I am just so overwhelmed at God's goodness, and it makes the fragility of life so much more visible...I guess.
As she said in her post, "things happen for a reason and God is in control". I believe this whole-heartedly, but believing it isn't necessarily a quick-fix. There is no anaesthesia that can instantly take away the pain. God can--and does--comfort and heal, but the pain and confusion of loss can linger. Please pray for Starr and Jeff and their family as they are saddened by the loss of this baby. Even though this baby was a bit of a surprise, it was still dearly loved.
I was blessed by the visit of my extremely-caring friend who brought over a delicious enchilada casserole for us. It was full of cheesy goodness, and I lived on leftovers all weekend while my husband was out of town for Army Reserve drill. I have one more serving that I'll eat up for lunch today, but it was such a blessing to not have to cook when it was just me and Ella.