Saturday, May 30, 2009

Still Nothing

Well, today would be day 8 of waiting for this miscarriage to start, and there's still nothing to report. It's now been more than a week since the confirmation, and almost two weeks since the devastating news that there was no heartbeat. No spotting, no cramping, no nothing. Perhaps God is looking out for me and something will happen in the comfort of our own home this weekend, rather than at work. Please pray for us--I would have now been at 10 weeks, so I fear that things will get harder and harder the longer we wait. It sucks knowing that it's going to happen, and anticipating it, and yet just waiting while trying to emotionally move on with our lives.

Thinking back, God was good to us in the first miscarriage--though that was different because I had been spotting for two weeks before we got the confirmation. Once the news was broken to us, it all happened the next day. And with the second miscarriage, it all happened so early. Had I not taken the test, I would have never known that I was actually pregnant.

At least today I'm blessed with a the house for company tomorrow. Don't get me wrong--I'm not saying I'm "excited" to clean the house. Rather, I appreciate it for the distraction that it will cause, and it forces me to get off the couch and stop feeling sorry for myself (which is what we allowed ourselves to do last weekend when we first heard the news). I'm off to tackle the kitchen!

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