Round 2

Again, I should probably include a disclaimer that this post involves a miscarriages. The previous post was more "emotional", but this one is more "physical"...

Though Round 1 of the Cytotec got things started, I still had a long way to go yesterday. I took Round 2 of the medication around 10:30 am, and hung out on the couch all day. Nothing really started happening until 5:00 pm or so. I started passing more and more clots--some quite large. By 6:30 pm, the pain was so intense. My mom called at one point, and I had to hang up because I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying through the pain. We tried to watch a movie, but I found it was easier to just sit on the toilet and push then lay down and try to relax. My poor husband was so tolerant and kept pausing the movie every five minutes so I could spend ten minutes in the bathroom.

If you've never been through this (and I pray that you never will), the pain is quite different than "regular" menstrual cramps (at least in my opinion). "Regular" cramps seem to be a "lower back discomfort", where as I would imagine that the pain associated with a miscarriage is probably more in line with contractions. They are shooting pains that tend to come on really strong in the front, and run the lenghth of the lower abdomen, all the way up to the belly-button. The doctor said that I could take ibuprofen or Tylenol for the pain, but that it might interfere with the intentions of the Cytotec. I was trying to tough it out, but by 9:00 pm, the pain was so bad that I was second-guessing my decision not to do a D&C. I knew that I had permission to call the doctor's cell phone in case of an emergency, but I didn't know if "I'm a wimp and this hurts" justified a late-night call (especially when I wasn't able to use the "call if you bleed through more than three pads in an hour" barometer since I spent the whole night on the toilet). So after an extremely painful episode, I broke down and took a left-over 600 mg ibuprofen horse-pill that I had from after the D&C for the first miscarriage (I know, I'm a horrible person for holding on to prescriptions...but at least they were in my name).

Within the hour, the pain had subsided a bit, and I was able to sleep. I got up a few times throughout the night to use the bathroom, and things really started to slow down. I don't know if it's because things are starting to empty out in there, or if it's because the ibuprofen is interfering with the Cytotec. I sure hope and pray that everything is out at this point.

I'm feeling okay now--at least well enough to head into church, and I'll gauge things from there. But I know that I need to an "emotional refill" after being physically drained yesterday. The bleeding seems to be at the levels of a "regular period" now, and I think I'm past the worst of the cramps. Assuming everything goes okay for the rest of the day today, I'll call the doctor tomorrow to see if when we can schedule another ultrasound to make sure that everything indeed came out. Please pray that everthing is out! I would hate to go through the pain--both physical and emotional--and then find out that I need to do a D&C anyway for leftover pieces.

But whatever happens, I survived. Again, I'm blessed that the medication worked, and that I was here in my own home, and that my husband was here for me this time. I'm blessed by the calls and text-messages and blog-messages supporting me through this difficult time. I'm blessed to have been able to sleep through most of the night, and that I have a chance to both mourn and rejoice this morning in church.