Turning Points

After each loss, I found that I needed a "turning point" in order to feel like I had readjusted back into normal society. With the first, it came in the form of a professional conference at which I was scheduled to present. I even attended with a woman in my office who was two weeks further along in her pregnancy than I would have been. But we had the chance to explore Chicago in addition to the presentations, and I came back realizing that I could laugh again. The turning point after the second loss was when we had a chance to meet with the RE for the first time and start to explore our situation and take steps forward. With this most recent loss, it happened this weekend when my husband and I had a chance to go camping and hiking. It was just so great to get out of town, reconnect with the beauty of Southern Arizona, and hang out together. It was nearly a perfect weekend--minus the rattle snake that we ran into on our 7.3 mile hike.

I think I'm starting to feel more like myself--both physically and emotionally. I think that the spotting is (finally!) done, and I haven't suffered from cramps for more than a week now. I don't know if I'll ever quite "get over" the loss of this child (or the others), but I do feel like I can truly start moving forward.

As for my blessings today on Father's Day, I'm totally blessed with the fathers in my life--my husband, my dad, and my heavenly Father. I love them all dearly.