Perhaps it's because I didn't get my typical Sunday afternoon nap...or perhaps the pregnancy fatigue has hit me. Either way, I haven't been able to stop yawning for the last two days. I was exhausted by the time I got home yesterday. I could tell that my body was physically tired. I spent 25 minutes on our elliptical, and it zapped what was remaining of my energy. I was asleep by 8:30 pm, got my full 8+ hours of sleep, and still yawned all day today. I skipped the elliptical today, but convinced my husband to go on a walk with me. Perhaps the cool air and sunlight will perk me up a bit (I've got to find some way to make it through LOST tonight, and for me, caffeine is out of the question).
I also think that I can attribute the "yucky" feel I've been experiencing for the last two weeks or so to this pregnancy. I recognize that "morning sickness" varies for everyone, and that it's not always necessarily affiliated with the "morning". I think I was a kid when I last had the flu, so when I think of being sick, I think of two different sensations. First, I associate it with the topsy-turvy feeling that you get in your stomach when you go on a roller coaster or even just drive really fast over dips in the roads...when it feels like your stomach just drops and rolls around in your gut for a bit. And secondly, I think of too many margaritas (or shots of peppermint schnapps with my college roommate) when the room spins and my mouth waters that nasty pre-puke saliva that makes me head to the toilet. This "yucky" thing going on now feels like neither of those two experiences. The best analogy that comes to mind would be my high school science experiments when you mix two substances together and it creates bubbles and fizz. Sure...I feel like I have that in my stomach. It's not necessarily sour or acidic...it's just weird and different and not part of my normal sensations.
Part of me feels a bit presumptuous to talk about symptoms at this point. I recently re-read a previous post from my third pregnancy when I was trying to discern if what I was experiencing were symptoms or side effects (turns out they were probably side effects, unfortunately). Now I find myself comparing this pregnancy with those in the past. Am I peeing more or less? Are my boobs hurting more or less? Is this weird yucky sick feeling more or less? When I previously posted that I wish people would pray that I would puke, Abbie agreed to my request...and then took it all back and said that she would pray for a healthy pregnancy instead of just symptoms. I couldn't agree with her more, and I totally appreciated her reality check. I pay attention to my body, but the symptoms aren't what make a baby. Rather, all I can do is hand the anxieties of each symptom (or lack thereof) over to God and trust His plan for my life. Symptoms can be reassuring, so I will welcome any that come my way with open arms. I still want to experience this pregnancy to its full potential. But I also need to remember to put my faith in God, and not just the symptoms. Please continue to pray for me--most importantly, please pray for a healthy pregnancy.
Today's blessing was more Heparin. It's turning out to be not nearly as bad I thought it would be. My pharmacist's shortage has apparently been resolved, as I was able to pick up the rest of my prescription today without any problems. As I got in the car today, rejoicing that it's still only $10 for a month supply, I realized that it's that much easier to tolerate the pain when I know it's not hurting us financially. Sure, it stings for a good five minutes or so, but the bruising is so much better this time.