Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Home...and Gone Again

My husband is home!  Well...he was home.  He got home late Monday night...and then left again early Tuesday morning.  He signed up for this class long before he knew that he would be out of the country for five weeks, so he's sort of obligated to attend (and he enjoys these types of classes).  But it's still so nice to know that he's just up the road.  I thought about making the two-hour drive up to see him, but it just isn't going to work out easily with my schedule this week.

Besides, I'm kind of proud of myself for not feeling this overwhelming sense that I need to be with him every single moment, now that he's back.  There was a time in my life when I would have dropped everything to drive however far was necessary to just be near him.  But perhaps these five weeks have shown me that it's okay for me to move away from "dependency" and into "autonomy" when it comes to our relationship.  Please do not read this as "I don't love/need/want/desire my husband"--that's not it at all!  If anything, these five weeks have shown me just how much I love him and value him more than I ever imagined.  But they've also reminded me that I am who I am, independent of who he is or what I do for him.  So I'll sit tight until he returns--for good this time--and continue adding to my list of "AccomplishMEnts".

So aside from having him home for eight hours, my blessing yesterday was that the cheesecake I baked for him turned out nearly perfect...or at least it was the best looking (and tasting) cheesecake that I have made so far...and I make a lot of cheesecakes.  I've been disappointed with how the last few turned out--and I didn't even taste them because I have been trying to watch my sugar intake (dang hormones).  But in honor of my husband's return, I indulged in yesterday's Blueberry Swirl...and I was quite impressed.  I'm glad I could bless my husband with my I just need to find the strength to resist the temptation to eat the rest of it before he returns on Friday.

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