I work in a very supportive office environment in which everyone tries--for the most part--to look out for everyone else. We're not perfect (I admit that I have felt like I have been burned in the past), and we don't always know each other's deeper secrets, but for the most part, we try to take an interest in each other's lives. So it doesn't surprise me too much that my pregnancy has been the topic of discussion in our break-room over lunch for the last few weeks (though I try to be sensitive that the constant baby-talk may make others uncomfortable--especially since we have new colleagues, and I don't know their stories yet).
On Friday, one of my colleagues asked me something along the lines of "is the countdown on yet?". I know she was trying to be kind, and I know that I'm being sensitive, but I admit that the word "countdown" hit a nerve. I tried to answer sweetly and generically that we're very excited to meet our Baby Girl when she arrives. But it got me thinking about how much I look at this pregnancy as a series of milestones, rather than simply a countdown.
Before I go any further, let me again acknowledge that I know that I'm sensitive, and it's not necessarily bad to be counting down the days. Rather, that's just not how I look at it. For me, each and every single day that our Baby Girl is growing and developing is a milestone. This was especially true at the beginning of our pregnancy, when I felt like I was holding my breath. I've shared before about "praying in color", and one of my images in my prayer journal is a list of numbers, 1-40, that I have been checking off with prayers of thanksgiving, week by week, ever since learning that we have a heartbeat. And speaking of that beautiful, precious heartbeat--that really was our first milestone. There have been so many other milestones that we have passed along the way--feeling her kick, the anatomy scan, the glucose screening test, Lamaze class, finishing the nursery...the list just goes on and on. Each gave me a reason to celebrate; each reminded me to praise God for all that he has done for us.
So really, the answer to my colleague's question would really be "No--the countdown is not on!". I am not in any sort of rush to evict our Baby Girl from my uterus. Yes, I fully understand that this pregnancy will come to an end at some point (and I still continue to pray that it ends with a healthy and happy Baby Girl in our arms). But even as I pass into week 39 tomorrow, I don't feel like it's necessary to say "7 more days to go" (not to even mention that a due-date is so ambiguous and flexible, so even if I did try to countdown, her birth may or may not correspond with her due-date). Rather, I just want to cherish this time. I love being pregnant. I love the kicks. I love having her with me, safely inside of me. Don't get me wrong--I am so extremely excited to meet her! But like I said--I'm in no rush to countdown these last few days. I'm just cherishing and praising each milestone, and committing it all to memory the best I can.
Yesterday's blessing was a huge win for my university's football team. I know it's silly, but I really do love college football. I bought my husband season tickets for Christmas, so he brought his college roommate along (he's stationed here, and just got back from a year in Iraq), and they had a great time. If our Baby Girl still hasn't arrived by Saturday, I really hope that I'm feeling good enough to go to the game next weekend (we're playing my parents' alma mater).