In The Beginning

You may remember my post about the flippant fertile from some weeks ago.  This post isn't about her...but the "very-dear friend" who tried to reason with her.  Well, this very-dear friend recently shared with me that she and her husband are now TTC.  On her birthday last month, she and her husband made up their minds on what to do with their careers (they're both in med school), bought a house here in town, and through their birth control pills out.  She knows everything that we've been through (and then some--I've shared extra details with her since she's a doctor and all), so I really appreciated that she gave me the heads-up that they were going to start trying.

Bless her heart...that's all I can say.  Knowing what I know now, it's interesting to watch her embark on this journey.  I remember what it was like, in the beginning, to be so hopeful.  Take the other night.  She showed up at another friend's birthday party, and whispered in the birthday girl's ear that she was "late" (these two also have a really close relationship--the birthday girl was her neighbor until recently when the very-dear friend moved in with her in-laws so they could save rent until their new home is finished next month).  So the birthday girl gave the very-dear friend a HPT to take, and then rejoined the party, while the very-dear friend went to do her business.  She emerged a few minutes later, with a thumbs-down and a forced smile  As I hugged her, she tried to reason that perhaps it's okay because another month or so may be better timing for her residency, and joked that it would be too hot to be that pregnant in the summer anyway.

I totally adore and sincerely appreciate this very-dear friend...but I can't imagine taking a HPT in someone else's home (especially on their birthday).  Yet I remember how it feels to be so anxious and hopeful, so I sure don't blame her.  And to her credit, the poor girl is living with her in-laws!  However, it would have been really hard to keep up a smile if the very-dear friend had emerged with a thumbs up and joyful tears in her eyes (and I admit that a teeny bit of me worries that she really did get pregnant that easily and lied to us, but I trust that she understands the pain that would cause me and believe that she values my friendship enough to be honest--even if it causes me pain). 

I do sincerely hope and pray that this very-dear friend and her husband are blessed.  I know that they would be amazing parents!  I pray that she isn't discouraged, and I just pray that I'm able to enjoy the journey with her--whether or not I'm pregnant. 

As I was typing this and trying to think of my my significant blessing, I was blessed with a package that just arrived in the mail from my grandma.  She sent advent calendars to my nieces and nephews (on my husband's side), and received the sweetest thank-you note from my 10-year old niece that she sent on to me.  It's such a blessing to be reminded of not only an amazing grandma, but also a pretty cool niece.  On both sides, I'm blessed with caring and thoughtful relatives.