Monday, January 11, 2010

No Longer Playing "What-If Games"

About a month ago, I posted my thoughts on living in the moment, and have continued to try to follow this lesson.  My family, on the other hand, hasn't been so quick to embrace what life offers today.

My family is from California, and my husband's family is from Montana.  Our first Christmas together, my husband and I tried to please both families and split our time evenly between the two locations.  On our flight back to Arizona, we both realized how crazy (and expensive) it was, and agreed to alternate our visits.  Christmas 2008 was spent with my family in California, and since my sister-in-law and I had both just suffered losses in September, the family decided to do something fun and different.  So we skipped the gifts and camped in tent cabins in Yosemite in the snow...and it was amazing! 

Fast-forward a couple of months to this most recent summer, and my parents went to Hawaii with some friends to take advantage of their time-share.  My mom sent daily text messages to my brothers and me sharing how much she wanted to bring us all to Hawaii again (we last vacationed there as a family in 2000).  So we all agreed that we would spend Christmas 2010 in Hawaii.  Sounds marvelous, right?

Well now the rest of my family doesn't want to go to Hawaii because they're playing the "what-if games".   What if my sister-in-law and/or I are pregnant?  What if we get pregnant right away and have a newborn?  I'm extremely disappointed--not only that I'll miss out on Hawaii, but also that my family is stuck playing "what-if games".  I've embraced living in the moment, and I wish that they would as well.

I can't control them, and of course I'll still join them for the holidays (it now looks like we'll vacation in Tahoe, which is only two hours away from my hometown), but I will no longer play the "what-if games".  I will no longer put off getting a massage during a 2WW because I'm afraid it may release toxins in my body.  I will no longer stand up in the shower to shave my legs because I fear that I may pick up bacteria from taking a bath.  I will no longer pass up the chance to lick the beater when I make cheesecake because the raw egg could cause damage.  And as I previously shared, I will no longer wear clothes that are three sizes too big because I'm holding onto hope that I'll soon fit into them. 

I love my family dearly, and perhaps I will be pregnant or have a newborn in December.  If so, I'll humbly repent of my little outburst and gladly eat my words.  Until then, I'm happy to embrace the life I have today.

Today I was blessed by getting a sore throat--today.  No, it's never nice to get sick, but the timing was right. Classes start on Wednesday, and thus work will pick up for me then, so I'd rather be sick today than later this week.  So I spent the day on the couch watching movies and napping.  I admit that I'm a bit of a work-aholic, so it's hard to call in sick.  But the timing was right to lay low today, and hopefully I'll be back to good tomorrow.


  1. This is exactly the point I'm at right now. If I'm having issues getting pregnant when I'm doing everything perfect I don't think a diet coke or Subway is going to keep me from conceiving. We've been putting off a vacation because "what if" I get pregnant and I'm in the first trimester and am sick. No more of this, we are planning a trip in May. Pregnant or not!!

    Sorry you were sick, glad you got some downtime too.

  2. I'm sorry your family is making this harder for you. I understand their thinking, but it seems like I would have made another reason for staying home...
    I'm happy you've found a way out of the what-ifs!

  3. I am so there with you! Today I decided (I think) LOL that I'm going to do a 5K 'fun run' in May at a conference that I will be going to for work - I originally was thinking that I may not be able to fly to this conference 'if' I was pregnant and if I was deemed high rish, etc etc - but I am so done with 'what if' then and trying my best to live in the now and stop putting things off 'just because'. Hope you feel better soon! lots of chicken soup!

  4. It's a dangerous game, the "What If" game. I am right there with you, and got tired of turning down brie or hot dogs, etc etc. If its meant to be, then God will find a way, right? And if you're preggo (WHEN you are preggo) next year, then you'll just work it out then!


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