So Hard

I was in a Dixie Chicks mood over the weekend, so dug through my CDs to find their most recent album (whch I realize is now a few years old).  I hadn't listened to it in a while, but was immediately touched by the lyrics of Track 13, titled "So Hard":

Back when we started
We didn't know how hard it was

Living on nothing

But what the wind would bring to us

Now we've got something

I can imagine fighting for

So why is fighting all that we're good at anymore

And sometimes I don't have the energy

To prove everybody wrong

And I try my best to be strong

But you know it's so hard

It's so hard

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy

It's so hard when it doesn't come fast

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy

It's so hard

It felt like a given

Something a woman's born to do

A natural ambition

To see a reflection of me and you

And I'd feel so guilty

If that was a gift I couldn't give

And could you be happy

If life wasn't how we pictured it

And sometimes I just want to wait it out

To prove everybody wrong

And I need your help to move on

Cause you know it's so hard

It's so hard

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy

It's so hard when it doesn't come fast

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy

So hard

I can live for the moment

When all these clouds open up for me to see

And show me a vision

Of you and me swimming peacefully

Last night you told me

That you can't remember

How to feel free

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy

It's so hard when it doesn't come fast

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy, easy

It's so hard

I hadn't realized the significance of the song when I first heard it, but it really resonates with me now.  After listening to it in the car, I immediately headed home and found an article in which the sisters shared their struggles with fertility.

I wish everything wasn't so hard.  Even now that I'm pregnant, I still continue to worry.  I woke up this morning to realize that my boobs don't ache the way that I wish they would.  I also didn't wake up in the middle of the night to pee, like I had the two previous nights.  My mind starts going to places where it shouldn't...and all I can do is call out to God to bless me.

My blessing today is the chance to have lunch with my very-dear friend.  In addition to being a prayer warrior, she's also just about done with med school, so she has precious knowledge to share with me that helps me better understand the human body.  I'm so blessed that God brought her into my life.