It's 4:00 am in Arizona, but I woke up to my own nightmare (as in a dream) and couldn't fall back to sleep...so decided to check my blog/facebook/email. And now I have a reason to be awake--so that I can pray for Janet, who is going through her own real-life nightmare on the East Coast. Here is her most recent email from early this morning:
It's 5am and I had a huge scare. I'm still praying right now as I'm writing this letter that things will get better. At 3:44am I woke up freezing, shivering and contractions. I immediately paged the nurse but words could not come out of my mouth. I was dazed and confused. One minute I thought I had to go to the bathroom. The next I couldn't stop the shivers and my body kept wanting to push the baby down and I felt pressure in my cervix. My back was hot my body was cold. First the pca brought blankets and said if I need a nurse. I said of course! Nurse came and asked what's wrong, again I struggled to speak through my chattering teeth. I said can they check if I'm contracting? She said of course. All the meanwhile I'm trying to control the shivering and tried to stop the urge to push.
They couldn't find my baby's heartbeat. I was afraid either it was too late or I pushed Madison down. I kept praying and talking to Madison to hang in there. It took them 30 minutes, 3 nurses to find a simple heartbeat. The entire labor + delivery team came running by my side just in case I was about to deliver. I knew if that was the case it is too late to save my baby. I continually prayed to God, "Not now!". I already lost one, I can't go through this again.
Finally a faint heartbeat...the contractions stopped but the shivers and shaking was still there. I took deep breaths still praying to God, "I believe you will save this baby.".
The doctor on shift asked questions. The medical staff put the contraction + fetal monitor. One hour later things calm down. This is the 2nd or 3rd scare this week... But the worst scare.
Doctor is still scared to check down there. It's not worth checking until Monday when the baby is considered viable. And even then. I prayed that my bag of waters didn't pop or in my cervix because the baby has been kicking hard and moving a lot.
So two things doctor explained...
1. infection is common during a cerclage. They took my cbc blood count and it should come back in an hour. If positive it's not good. They'll have to confirm with an amniocentesis and take fluids from the baby's sac. With that too, is a risk and I could lose the baby through testing. Hoping the test is negative.
(The reason they took the cbc I have been having drenching sweat which is a new symptom when I wake up from sleep - 3x) usually with temperature changes alarm for infections. If positive, they cannot give me steroids to help baby's lungs mature faster. And I will have to deliver this baby and that means its too early, she won't make it. They have to do it to save me from the infection.
2. they said depending on the doctor. And if results of cbc count come back negative. Then the earliest I can receive steroids is Sat. But that's up to my doctor. Every dr is different. The latest Monday because the baby is considered viable. That's 3 more days!!! So close. Without steroids, there is no chance she will make it in this world. And it takes 2 dosages, 24 hrs each to administer for it to be effective. That's not until Wednesday!
So pray for the following -
1.) No Contractions or even dilation.
2.) That damage has not been already done to cervix because then dr's can't help or put the baby back in me.
3.) NO INFECTIONS or its too late for my baby for chance of steroids and I will have to deliver out of no choice.
4.) That doctors will give steroids sooner than later if necessary to greater her chances of living.
5.) Give wisdom to my doctor's and medical staff.
6.) That Madison will ultimately reach full-term and be a healthy baby.
7.) Praying that God will finish what has begun, this beautiful gift of life + blessing in me and that I would trust in Him.
Doctor's never give me a definitive answer but I hope that I get transferred to a level four hospital with a neonatal unit just in case. I'm praying it will never come to that because there have been rare cases that some have made it to 32 weeks or 36 weeks. I pray that I will be one of those people. So I'm praying for a miracle baby. Please continue to pray.
My dad gave me a bible verse the other day that I wrote in my journal...
Matthew 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for me in prayer."
Then there's that story about the fig tree. Jesus said that if you have faith, not doubt you can move mountains to the sea. If Jesus can do that, then I'm certain he can save this baby.
The nurses and dr's move all my things off the bed and as you know I am bedridden. I'm not only laying flat 24/7 but in the trendelenburg position (feet elevated up and head down--like a see-saw position) to take off pressure from the cervix and to prevent baby from falling downwards (gravity).
Sorry--nurse came in and it took another 20 minutes to locate her heartbeat. Made us all nervous.
So its not only the cervix, or stitch giving way. There are other factors that can cause preterm labor such as infection, stress, etc.
I had to update because I really need your prayers with 3 days to viability. Monday I will have an ultrasound to see how bad or good my cervix is. At that point they will make executive decisions.
Thank you for taking time to read this.
Thank you for your prayers...
Janet (Eddie + baby Madison)
It doesn't seem like the word "nightmare" can even begin to describe what she is going through. Please pray for her. As you can hear from her words, she is an amazing woman of faith, but she needs our prayers now more than ever. Please feel free to post comments, support, and prayers on her blog or here on mine, and I'll forward them to her later in the day via email (she is checking email through her Blackberry, but doesn't have easy access to her blog).
As for my blessing...when I woke up from that dream/nightmare this morning, it never crossed my mind that it could be a "blessing". But now I am glad that God shook me awake so that I could spend some time praying for Janet.